Games I Never Win

Matthew Grey's weblog is a lot of fun - though he confuses the heck out of me when he starts speaking computerese. Last week, he posted a "Games I Never Win Post" which I found fun, clever, and more than a little bit stat obsessed. (This would, as many of you know, describe me as well.)

So here's my take on the same question.

There are some games I'm very good at (Richileu, for example, but that's really the seed of a topic for another post). There are many more games, however, which I stink at. And when I say that I stink, I'm talking "dirty gym socks hiding in the back of a frat room closet" stink.

Of the games I've played 5 or more times since 1998 (when I began keeping a spreadsheet of the games I played), here are the smelliest gym sock performances:

• Family Business 0-12
• Monster-Fressen 0-7
• Coloretto 0-6
• Die Mauer 0-6
• Small Soldiers Big Battle 0-6
• Adel Verpflichtet/Hoity Toity 0-5
• Caramba 0-5
• Die ErbRaffer 0-5
• Formula Motor Racing 0-5
• Overthrone 0-5
• Phase 10 0-5
• Pit 0-5
• Tic-Tac-Chess 0-5

Thankfully, none of these games are "serious" games - well, maybe with the exception of Tic-Tac-Chess. (All of those losses at that chess variant, btw, are to my wife.) Of course, if I'd played Chess 5 times in the last 7 years, it would be on this list as well. The really sad entry on this list is Small Soldiers Big Battle, which is a very silly kids game based on the film, Small Soldiers, that Braeden likes playing. That's right, all but one of those losses are at Braeden's hands.

Of course, if I did this post again in a couple of weeks, it's likely that Return of the Heroes would appear on this list. Despite this fantasy adventure game being rated for age 10+, Braeden (who is nearly 4) is able to make most of the simple decisions on his own - and win. 3 times in less than week. Whimper.