Funny Conversations With Sales Clerks

Scott Roberts started a thread about clueless salespeople over on Boardgamegeek... I just wanted to share some highlights (or lowlights, depending on how you look at it) with you. (After a while, they also started adding clueless customer stories.)

Boardgames

• Scott: Do you have the boardgame Risk: Halo Edition?
• Worker: What is that?
• Scott: It is a boardgame.
• Worker: Boardgame? Is that a shirt?
• Scott: No. Do you know what boardgames are?
• Worker: No.
• Scott: As in toys and games. Do you know what games are?
• Worker: Yes.
• Scott: It is like Monopoly. Monopoly is a boardgame.
• Worker: Oh, Monopoloy. I think we had some of those. Let me go check.
• Scott: No, I am not looking for Monopoly. I am looking for a game called Risk: Halo Edition.
• Worker: (sounding uncertain) Ok, let me go check.
• [leaves and comes back]
• Worker: I am sorry, sir, we are out of Monopoly.

Vegetables

• "How many corn do you have there?"
• "A dozen."
• * blank stare *
• "A dozen."
• * blank stare *
• "Twelve...."
• "Thank you."

DMV

Several years ago, I moved from my native Canada to New Jersey. One day I went to the DMV to get a driver's licence. The rule was you had to relinquish your out-of-state licence, UNLESS it was from a different country; then you could keep it.

I passed the test and filled out the paperwork and the clerk handed me my new licence. There followed this exchange:

• Me: Can I have my old licence back, please.
• Clerk: Oh, you don't get that back.
• Me: I think I do because it's from a different country.
• Clerk: What?
• Me: It's a Canadian driver's licence. I get to keep it.
• Clerk: Canada's not a different country.
• Me: Um...yes, it is.
• Clerk: No, it's not.
• Me: Yes. It is.
• Clerk: No, it's not.
• Me: Canada is a different country!
• Clerk: Well, maybe, but it's not really a different country. It's not like India.
• Me: Yes! Yes! It's exactly like India! It's a different country!

She eventually, reluctantly gave me my old licence back, but I could tell she didn't believe me.

Books

• Customer: Can you help me find a book?
• Staff: Sure. What are you looking for?
• Customer: Well I think it was yellow.
• Staff: You mean the title was "Yellow"?
• Customer: No, the cover was yellow. Or it might have been orange. Do you have that book?

Fast Food

McDonald's used to sell Bagel Breakfast sandwiches. They had Bacon, Egg and Cheese Bagels and Ham, Egg and Cheese Bagels.

At some point they discontinued the Ham, Egg and Cheese Bagels, but that's the one I liked. Here's my drive through conversation every time I ordered breakfast there until they discontinued bagels altogether:

• Me: I'd like a Ham, Egg and Cheese Bagel, please.
• Clerk: I'm sorry we discontinued the Ham, Egg and Cheese Bagel.
• Me: OK, can I get a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Bagel?
• Clerk: Yes.
• Me: Can you remove the Bacon?
• Clerk: Sure.
• Me: And can I add Ham to that?
• Clerk: You got it.
• Me: Thank you.

A final word from aka pastor guy...

As a former employee of a Christian bookstore who was tasked by one customer to find a "Baptist Bible" for her (there isn't one, btw) and who had a customer cuss us out for selling her the wrong Bible (evidently she didn't read it), I am sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.