As my father’s unit moved inland on their bicycles, the man in the lead position was shot through the head. The troops took cover and then the captain told my father to approach the village ahead. He didn’t want my father to take a stealth approach but to walk down the open road. With a sinking feeling, my father understood that his mission was to draw German fire so the captain could see where it was coming from. Realizing that there was no time to do more careful reconnaissance, my father accepted what he saw as a likely death sentence.Here's the movie scene that inspired my first break-up... and gave this post a title: My first "girlfriend" (who wasn't really a girlfriend in the "kissy-kissy-suck face" kind of way but actually a girl which I had a wicked crush on who enjoyed my presence & friendship) loved "Gone With The Wind"... in fact, she's the person who introduced it to me. (She also introduced me to the musical "Evita" & the Beatles' "White album".) Watching that scene finally inspired me to walk away from this one-way relationship... though not with the snarky anger of the songs I want to highlight. Looking back some 30+ years (wow, that was a LONG time ago), I realize that I wanted something from this young lady that she wasn't interested in giving... and that was her right. My interest in her didn't mandate her response. In my puppy-dog crush, I missed out on continuing a really great friendship. Wow, this post has taken a turn I didn't expect it to... hmmm. So, back to the humorous break-up songs!
“All that training going to waste,” he lamented. Then he remembered having seen Gunga Din in which Cary Grant, surrounded by the enemy, says coolly, “You are all under arrest.” That inspired my father as he strode down the center of the road, shouting in German: “Surrender, all of you! Come out! You are completely surrounded and don’t have a chance!”
For a time all was silent. Then a German soldier popped up from behind a parapet and fired. My father dropped to his knee and fired back. Each missed the other. My father’s gun jammed. The German dove for cover. My father went flat on his stomach to clear his gun. As he prepared to shoot again he heard a noise and there, behind him, his entire troop was charging, bayonets fixed. The soldier in the lead shot two enemy soldiers concealed in a ditch to the left of the road, each with a belt-fed German machine gun.(from an excellent article by Kim Masters entitled "My Father, The Inglourious Basterd" - go read the whole thing!)
- "Woman, Don't You Know" by Petra (on the album COME & JOIN US) - Yes, it's from the Dark Ages of CCM... but it's basically a "I'm not going to sleep with you because I found Jesus" song - and there just aren't very many of those. You can get a quick snippet from Amazon's MP3 site for the album - it's track #8. Thanks to A Guide To Petra, you can find the lyrics, too.
- "That's Ex-Doormat To You" by This Train (on the album YOU'RE SOAKING IN IT) - Mark Robertson, the lead guy behind This Train, is one of the Cool Kids of the CCM scene: he was part of Allies, The Altar Boys, Rich Mullins' Ragamuffin Band & The Stand. (I didn't realize he was even a part of making the industrial/metal rock opera "Under Midnight" - the Internet is a wonderful thing.) Anyway, the "cowpunkabilly" band This Train recorded some quirky stuff - but none with this much pure vitriol: "I realized I'm no punching bag, and I know you hate that/So now you'll have to do without, or get yourself a cat." I can't find an online source to listen to the song, but you can get a feel for This Train's music on their MySpace Music page (which also hints that the band may be recording again!) The lyrics can be found here.
- "Il'll Take You Back" by Brad Paisley (on the album TIME WELL WASTED) - There's something about country music that lends itself to dissing your ex-girlfriend... and no one does it better than Brad Paisley. I've embedded Brad's appearance on Letterman singing the song below this list. (If you want to see the lyrics, there's a fan video with them on YouTube.) Of course, it doesn't hurt that the boy has some serious chops on the guitar.