Another post inspired by the conference from this last weekend... this time, it was Doug Stevens, the founder of The Renewal Project, who got me thinking in a breakout session entitled "Prophet, Priest & Provocateur: The Impossible Pastor".
After working through a generational model (7 tiers in his model... and according to Doug, I'm not a GenXer!), he summed up all of that with:
The values of any age/generation can NOT be absolute. They must be submitted to Christ.
The Kingdom of God critiques all of our generational biases... including the biases of OUR generation.
The Kingdom of God acts as a discpline over all our petty generational junk...
Look, I don't think he was knocking any particular brand of church here - the reading list for the conference included (among others) Brian McLaren, Donald Miller, Andy Stanley, Erwin McManus & Becky Pippert, as well as Sue Miller, who's on staff at Willow Creek. I think he's offering an important thought - generational differences help explain some of the tensions in ministry, but they don't offer real answers.
What offers answers is a Biblical vision of the Kingdom of God.
There is a barbarian revolt taking place, and its command center is the Kingdom of God. Everywhere the Kingdom of God advances, there is a violent engagement against a dark kingdom. To be born of God is to be made a citizen in the kingdom of God, and the kingdom of God is at war. Do not confuse this kingdom with Paradise. Salvation is not a reentry into a Paradise Lost; it is enlistment in the mission of God.
Jesus is telling us in no uncertain terms that there is a battle raging. This is perhaps the most important reason why we must choose the barbarian way and resist any temptation to become civilized. Domesticated Christians are far too willing to abdicate the battle for the soul of the world. Civility focuses our energy on all the wrong places. We spend our lives emphasizing our personal development and spiritual well-being. We build churches that become nothing more than hiding places for the faithful while pretending that our actions are for the good of the world. Or we choose political and secular vehicles to try to advance our cultural values, strangely attempting to make unbelieving people act like civilized believers.
In contrast Jesus calls us to a different way. He tells us this a battle of kingdoms. He insists that if we are His followers, we must not live in a world only defined by the material. We cannot limit our sights to what is flesh & blood. We should know better than that. To see from a kingdom perspective is to know that there is a conflict of invisible kingdoms and that people's lives are forever changed by what happens in the unseen. We are called to be warriors of light in dark places. We are mystical warriors who use weapons not of this world.
Erwin McManus, The Barbarian Way
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
The 5 Lane Freeway Mind
This post comes to us courtesy of Andrew Jone's blog, Tall Skinny Kiwi. (Andrew is a very cool, very tall dude with a great accent who travels the world with his family blowing on the embers of the fire we call "the emerging church". I first met Andrew at a 1997 North American Mission Board gathering of GenX pastors - back when it was still cool to say GenX, before "pomo" and "emergent" became the buzzwords - in Atlanta, GA. The NAMB offices there are VERY nice... I can remember standing in the bathroom with Andrew & a couple of others guys speculating how long we could run our ministries if we could rip the paneling off the walls & resell it.)
Current research has reinforced something i was teaching 7 years ago. Back in 1998, I used the concept of a 5 lane freeway to explain the new mindset. Children's minds, I argued, are not a single track country road, but a “5 lane freeway”, geared up for multi-tasking and learning from the relationships between the media in those 5 lanes at the same time. The problem is not that their attention span is short, but rather than their attention span is broad. This is why they are bored with single media presentations.
Well, fast forward to 2005, and the people from Disney have paid for some research that came up with a 5.4 number, slightly more than my number . . . but who's counting?
“Raised on more ”passive“ media, including TV, newspapers, radio and billboards, adults are content with linear entertainment experiences that unfold in a traditional story-like way. They are more patient (read: willing to wait in line) and, Lindstrom says, can cope with only about 1.7 channels of communication at once. Children, by contrast, can simultaneously master 5.4 channels of communication (including surfing the Internet, text messaging and talking on the phone). They yearn for entertainment that is frenetic, multi-sensory and interactive."So what does this mean for your average evangelical worship service? Or, to bring my hobby into the discussion, for the design of a board game?
Flashback, Dude!
I was able to attend (along with Neil, Nancy & Debbie - three members of our church council) a conference over in the Bay Area entitled Doing Ministry In A World Growing Younger. They managed to pack a bunch into 24 hours... so you're likely to see odd posts related to this conference all week.
I had a major flashback moment when Rebecca Manley Pippert spoke... her book, Out of the Saltshaker and Into The World, played a major part in my faith development during college. I remember going to an IVCF meeting (InterVarsity Christian Fellowship) and watching video teaching tapes that she'd done - I'm guessing I was a junior, which makes this 1984-85. That's right: 20 years ago. Sheesh.
Anyway, she spoke about incarnational evangelism... maybe I'll tell y'all more about that later. (Maybe not: I'm making a lot of promises about posts that I'm going to have difficulty keeping if I don't turn off my Promiser.) In the midst of that, she asked a question that's haunting me (in a good way):
The good news of Jesus Christ is the most beautiful, incredible thing there is. The question in evangelism (sharing what we believe) is how do we get the style of the way we share as beautiful as the message itself? (paraphrased from memory & my scratchy notes)
Wow. Oh, for a personal style that is as beautiful as the Gospel. Now that's a quest worth going on.
A Real Good Thing
Before I get to the meat of this, I need to get something out of the way:
This is a blanket apology to all the people I've taunted about watching Survivor over the years... because after watching this season, I think I'm beginning to understand the fascination. Sorry I was such a snob and that you got to bear the brunt of that. (Yes, Liesl, esp. you!)
OK, with that taken care of...
It's been an amazing (pun intended) week out in the land of reality television. First, Uchenna & Joyce beat Rob & Amber and the bickering Ron & Kelly to win the Amazing Race 7. (Unwanted suggestion: Kelly, you may be sad about the relationship not going to the level you wanted it to... but I think you'll look back on this in 20 years and realize that was a good thing!) Uchenna & Joyce were kind to each other, kind to the other teams in the race, and genuinely enjoyed their contact with other cultures.
Then, last night, Tom Westman won Survivor: Palau... despite actually being the strongest player in the game! (Survivor has had a tendency to reward weaker players down near the end as the stronger players get voted out because they are threats.) Moreover, he won the game by being himself - for the most part, behaving honorably and keeping a healthy distance between game & friendship. (Even more amazing: Ian's choice to put friendship & honor over a million bucks... very cool. I realize some folks think he got "island fever" and was emotionally blackmailed into it. I'm not buying. I understand in the core of my being wanting to be a man of integrity and not knowing how to buy that back.)
Anyway, the phrase that jumped to my mind with both of these winners is that "they deserved it." Which, if I'm honest, is code for "I liked them and they played fair."
Here's the deal, though. We live here in America in a society that is constantly judging whether we deserve any number of things: better pay, social acceptance, being picked for the team, personal recognition, etc. We may (may? heck, we do!) disagree on the filters used to judge who is deserving, but the vast majority of us work the process like crazy.
Thankfully, God doesn't play that game... mercy & grace are based not on how good we are, or how good we can be, or how good we promise to be, but on how good He is.
Congrats, Tom. Thanks, Jesus.When we don't get what we deserve
It's a real good thing
When we get what we don't deserve
It's a real good thing Born to sin
And then get caught
All our good deeds
Don't mean squat Sell the Volvo
Shred the Visa
Send the cash to Ma Teresa
Great idea
The only catch is
You don't get saved
On merit badges When we don't get what we deserve... Doctor's coming
Looking grim
"Do you have a favorite hymn?" Check your balance through the years
All accounts are in arrears
Guilt is bitter
Grace is sweet
Park it here
On the mercy seat When we don't get what we deserve... "It's A Real Good Thing" - Recorded by The Newsboys. Lyrics by Steve Taylor and Peter Furler
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Cool in the Pool
Speaking of Braeden & swim lessons, doesn't he LOOK like he's ready to win Olympic medals? :-) 
Jumping Into The Deep End
Braeden's been taking swim lessons from Jamie's School of Fish (shameless plug: Jamie's a neat lady, plus a former staff wife from NewLife works there, plus they've done an incredible job of teaching Braeden to swim). And one of the things that he's proudest of is when he jumps into the deep end of the pool and swims the length of it. (OK, he has help: Mr. Devon & Miss Jamie act like 'way stations' on their trip across - but still, he's not quite 4, and I'm his dad, and so... impressive!) Watching him do this the last few weeks (I've been filling in for Shari as The Parent Who Goes To Swim Lessons while she has been recovering from the C-section) has reminded me a lot of my "professional" life. At NewLife Community Church, we're about to jump into the "deep end" in a number of areas. What makes the "deep end" scarier is that it's the first time for me to jump into these areas, as well:
- we've just hired a summer youth minister
- we're clicking right along in the process of calling a full-time worship & youth pastor
- we're planning a $250,000-$300,000 capital campaign for the fall
Any one of these would be a big deal - stuff them all into one year AND add in the birth of Collin Blake (and his subsequent health issues), and you've got The Deep Dish Pizza Pie of Overwhelmingness baking in the oven we call my brain.
Now, those of you who've known me a while know that I do have some experience:- being a youth minister (13 years part- and full-time)
- working with worship leaders (hi, Robert, Stephen, Paul & Mark)
Which, as it goes, is good. But I've never supervised a youth minister... I was always on the other side of the desk, so to speak. I enter this summer praying that I can remember what is was like to be "the staff person"... that I can give direction without stifling creativity or imposing my personal (and seriously dated) view of "good" youth ministry on Jenn Shumaker. (You can pray for Jenn... heck, you can pray for me, too. I'm sure not going to stop you.)
As for working with worship leaders, I'd showed over time that I have alternated between way too much direction (my Chinese water torture of Robert to make the church @ hickory hollow's music cool yesterday if not before) and way too little (evidenced by the summer of 2001, where Stephen had to carry things pretty much by himself.) As well, all the paid staff members I've supervised (3 worship leaders & 2 associate pastors) were part-time... in one case (hi, Chris!) VERY part-time. I've never had the privilege/responsibility of being the senior pastor on a staff with a full-time person. Moreover, the "hiring process" we used at tc@hh ("process"... giggle, snort) was not a full-blown ministry search. Heck, it was barely a process. (To our credit, we were hiring/calling part-time worship leaders.) So this whole "search team" deal is brand new territory for me. (Thankfully, some of the search team have been on other search teams - including the one that called me to NewLife!) As for pastoring a church through a capital campaign, I need to have a "C" tattooed on my forehead for "clueless". My nearly 8 years in the pastorate have included no major fundraising... and the only campaign I was involved in as a staff member occurred mostly before I came on staff. (And then blew up when our pastor resigned due to an adulterous affair - but that's a story for another post. And, yes, I realize I've been promising a lot of 'historical' posts - I'll get to 'em eventually.) Anyway, I'm jumping off into the deep end. Which, of course, is exactly where God wants me to be... in a place where I have to trust Him more than my knowledge or experience. Splash!Monday, May 09, 2005
So, Exactly What Do They Want?
Dr. Allen Troxler (aka Brainman) is possibly the coolest teacher/pastor dude on the planet. And he has a keen eye for the absurd, which leads me to his e-mail of last week...
As you know, I'm searching for ministry jobs right now. I just found a site called ministrycareers.com and was skimming through the job postings in Virginia. I found this posting; see if you spot the problem:
Pastor, teacher in Christian School
Valley Road Baptist
Front Royal, Virgina
Job Description: Pastor, evangelize, help with the school.
Very small church with school.
Also has a non-prophet organization with it.
When I took one of those spiritual gifts tests in high school, I found out that the gift of "prophecy" was my top score. Does that mean I shouldn't apply here?
May The Chocolate Force Be With You
Collin is doing his best "Emperor Palpatine" impression in his M&M blanket... which makes him the poster child for his Aunt Liz. Let's call him the Emperor of Chocolate!
Never Noticed This Before
Reason #859 to keep reading your Bible: You continually find stuff you missed, even in the most obvious of places.
I mean, I'm a Southern Baptist preacher/former youth minister. How many times would you guess I've taught the stories of the Passion Week? (I'm not even going to try & count.) Still, this morning in my quiet time, a bit of journal reading from John Eldredge (the Wild At Heart Journal) sent me to this account of the Garden of Gethsemane:
Then Jesus, knowing everything that was about to happen to Him, went out and said to them, "Who is it you're looking for?"
"Jesus the Nazarene," they answered.
"I am He," Jesus told them.
Judas, who betrayed Him, was also standing with them. When He told them, "I am He," they stepped back and fell to the ground.
John 18:4-6 (Holman Christian Standard Version)
They what?! Fell to the ground? Why have I never noticed this before? A bunch of armed men go after Jesus, and when they find him, they can't stand up to the unarmed prophet/rabbi. Wild. (And then, Jesus goes with them without a fight. Double wild.)
So, I'm trying to go through the rest of today with that image locked into my short-term memory: Jesus, whose mere words cause those arresting Him to fall out in fear. That's the God I follow... one who made an impact on those around.
Prayer for the day: God, help me make an impact through your power.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Narnia... ooo, pretty
http://movies.channel.aol.com/franchise/exclusives/chronicles_of_narnia_movie
OK, campers... the sneak peek internet preview is here. And it looks amazing. Maybe a bit more LOTR-ish than Lewis might have intended, but still - it's Narnia in all it's glory.
I'm really looking forward to Episode III (Star Wars), but if Narnia's done right, it'll be an experience on par with the Lord of the Rings.
Check it out for yourself.
Spiel Des Jahres 2005
The nominees for Germany's Spiel des Jahres (Game of the Year) have just been announced. The 5 nominated games are:
- Around the World in 80 Days
- Jambo
- Himalaya
- Niagara
- Verflixxt
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Laws of Cartoon Thermodynamics
Brought to you care of rogerebert.com
by Trevor Paquette and Lt. Justin D. Baldwin
Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Cartoon Law IV
The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.
Cartoon Law V
All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.
Cartoon Law VI
As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.
This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A `wacky' character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.
Cartoon Law VII
Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.
This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.
Cartoon Law VIII
Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.
Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.
Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.
Cartoon Law IX
Everything falls faster than an anvil.
Cartoon Law X
Guns, no matter how powerful, or no matter where aimed, will do nothing more than char flesh, blow away feathers, or rearrange beaks.
Cartoon Law XI
Any given amount of explosives will propel a body miles away, but still in one piece, charred and extremely peeved.
copyright 2004, rogerebert.com
The original article appears here.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Google Me
I decided to Google myself this morning. (For those who are not computer-savvy, Google is a very effective search engine that helps find websites that match the information you put into the system.) In this case, I typed in "mark jackson" pastor (the quotes make sure the search engine looks for occurences of the whole phrase) and it spit out 614 results. I found ample evidence of my gaming obsession - not only stuff I've posted on the web but also mentions from friends. (There's even a reference to an internet radio show/podcast that I did late last year on a show called Geekspeak.) The website I put up when I was hunting for a church (and you guys here at NewLife were hunting for me) is still active. (Which is weird... but kind of cool.) There's even an article I was quoted in about the On Target Conference I attended back in February. (I remember being interviewed for the California Baptist state paper - though I don't remember saying one of the quotes attributed to me. Not that I disagree with what it says I said... I'm just not sure I said it to the reporter.) Then, of course, there's the references to people who aren't me, but just share my name:
- Mark Jackson, NBA star, who somehow got caught up in a turf war between the coach of the Knicks & the team chapel pastor
- a playwright named Mark Jackson (though the reviews of his play call it "sprawling & unlikely")
- any number of Pastor Mark Jackson's, including a couple of Dr. Mark Jackson's (man, that looks weird to see my name with a "Dr." in front of it)
- a Lutheran youth ministry professor
- some dead people (obituaries)
- and at least one guy serving in our armed forces
Which brings me to the most interesting part of my search - there's a Mark Jackson who is, oddly enough, been convicted of bilking church members in Tennessee and California out of approximately $1.2 million dollars. (He's also up for charges in Georgia... you can read the article at Apologetics Index for more information.) Here's the random thoughts that went through my head when I found this guy:
- boy, if I'd embezzled over $1 million bucks, we sure wouldn't need to do a capital campaign later this year
- how weird is it that this guy bilked churches in the last two states I've lived in?
- man, I hate the prosperity gospel - it's anti-biblical and it has a tendency to give people permission to do stupid things
- what would it take in my life to turn me into a con man?
If you're looking for a grand point to all this, I'm not sure I have one. But I'll certainly give it a try... maybe the overwhelming "someone walked on my grave" feeling of finding this con artist sharing my name comes from the fact that I'm invested in taking care of Mark. I've spent nearly 41 years building a reputation & a persona, and I'm not interested in letting someone/anyone mess that up.
Not even God. So, maybe my reaction is not so much about my righteous indignation at a health & wealth "gospel" matchstick man. Maybe it's about my own fears of my precious life plan being altered... or of my carefully built facade crumbling under the weight of reality. I don't know... I'm going to have to think about this one a bit. What about you? What "important thing" are you scared God is going to take away? We must remember there are many more important things, many more important things . . . off hand, I can't think of what they are, but I'm sure there must be something.Willie Wonka, from the film Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
This post originally appeared in the 5/2/05 edition of The Grapevine, the newsletter of NewLife Community Church.
The Power of Pixar
As some of you know, I have a bit of an obsession about Disney theme parks. (OK, it's not quite as big as my obsession about board games, but it definitely exceeds the average person's interest in the inner workings of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.)
According to Jim Hill Media (which, btw, is the best site for behind the scenes news about all things Disney), the twin parks in California (Disneyland & California Adventure, hereafter referred to as DCA) are going to receive some serious Pixar pixie dust in the next few years:
- the long-defunct DCA ride "Superstar Limo" is being remade as a Monsters Inc. "dark ride" (a dark ride is something like Peter Pan or Snow White... where you zip through memorable scenes from the movie)
- the very popular "Turtle Talk with Crush" show (recently opened at EPCOT in Florida) will also open in the Animation Building at DCA
- the Submarine ride at D-land is getting a "Finding Nemo" re-do which will incorporate the old subs & sub track into a new ride experience (this should be finished in late 2006)
- there's serious talk of an E-ticket (think Space Mountain or Indiana Jones) ride with an Incredibles theme for DCA (with a planned opening in 2007)
- the whole family waits in line
- when you reach the loading area, the older sibling & one adult get on and ride while the other adult & infant wait at the loading area
- when the older sibling & 1st adult return, the adults swap the baby and the older sibling & 2nd adult ride
it's not about you
One of the more interesting (and challenging) blogs that I follow is scott... diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Scott just recently stepped down as the pastor of his church, and in a post describing his last Sunday wrote:
if you are reading this i'd like to remind you that church isn't about you. it isn't about your needs or your comfort or your musical tastes. sure you need to find a place where you can find a family but it's hard for me to believe that jesus died on the cross so his kids could have the best sunday school in town.
Man, I've been chewing on that for a couple of weeks now... thought I'd invite you to do the same.
Better, Thank You
Collin's feeds have been MUCH better, thanks to the magic of Thick-It. He's still a noisy baby (grunts, whistles, yowls, etc.) which we're getting used to, but he isn't uncomfortable and/or choking & gagging, so that's all to the good.
And while I'm at it, a big "howdy-hi" to my newest reader, a nursing student named Katie who stumbled in here out of the cold. I'll take this opportunity to once again say how incredibly cool the nursing staff is at Valley Children's - with special mention of Fatima, Michelle & Savina... nurses who took care of Braeden back in January and checked on us (even though they weren't assigned to us) when we were in last week with Collin.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Viva, Viva Pamplona
Imagine me in a gold lame jumpsuit. (Or don't. It's probably better for your mental health if you steer clear of that particular visual.)
Anyway, had an odd & wonderful occurence the other night while officiating a game of Viva Pamplona. But before I tell you the tale, a couple of notes:
- "Officiating" a game is a great way to introduce people you enjoy to a game you enjoy that won't play 7 players. In this case, Viva Pamplona tops out with six players, so I took the privilege of turning over the Toro cards and giving strategy hints.
- Viva Pamplona is a really cool game in the same vein as the ever-popular Midnight Party or the less well-known (and ridiculously expensive) Viva Topo. Players attempt to run from the bulls (well, bull, in this case) while gaining courage points for staying close to him (but not behind him) and by pushing/shoving other players.
PU - Braeden Needs A Bath!
Braeden giving some serious "kugs" (Braeden name for a kiss & a hug) to his little brother.
It's Official... I'm Tired of Going To The Hospital With a Sick Child
The header says it all... these last three days (Thursday afternoon - Saturday afternoon) with Collin in Valley Children's Hospital were days #8-10 of the Jackson family's secret plan to turn a room there into a summer residence.
Collin has been having trouble with his feeding... choking & gagging in odd & scary (read: gasping for breath) kinds of ways. He had an upper GI workup on Wednesday (good news: the taste buds of babies aren't developed enough to realize how nasty barium really is) and they discovered he was aspirating some of the fluid into his windpipe.
The solution: thicken his feeds with rice cereal. This led to a very scary moment early on Thursday morning in which he couldn't catch his breath for 5-10 minutes. (Talk about moments filled to the brim with a lack of fun.), We took him into see his pediatrician (Dr. Fraley, the one who caught the Kawasaki disease in Braeden) and she, in consultation with some experts at Valley, decided to admit Collin to stabilize him and figure out the problem.
Stabilizing including a NG tube, which is hospital code for a feeding tube that runs through your nose, down the back of your throat, and into your stomach. They also put him on a heart monitor, which we learned with Braeden is mainly used to keep parents from sleeping when it goes off for scary reasons like "he's moving his foot around too much." (Can you tell yet how little sleep we had in the hospital?)
The first doctor we saw (a resident) basically scared us to death by giving us ALL of the possible scenarios (the one that stuck out was operating on Collin to put a G tube in - that's a semi-permanent feeding tube directly into your stomach.) I'll give her credit for being a mom of a 14-month old herself and wanting to make sure we weren't blindsided... but it was still a pretty scary conversation.
The attending physician was much more positive (and I'm guessing the above-mentioned resident got a mild chewing out for giving us such detail). He anticipated that we would be in the hospital with Collin until Monday, so they could get the appropriate tests done.
Here we come to one of the big problems in medicine - if it's bad enough to put you in the hospital, shouldn't the whole concept of "weekend" be a moot point? Well, evidently it's not, as we were going to have to wait for a swallow test (essentially an upper GI focusing on the swallow mechanism) until Monday.
That is, until God intervened and there was a cancellation... and we had our swallow test on Friday afternoon. Which showed (soo-prise, soo-prise) that with thinner liquids, Collin was having "silent aspirations". In other words, liquid was going down his windpipe AND he wasn't coughing it back up. When they switched to what they called a "nectar" thickness liquid, the aspirations stopped.
So far, so good. One of the discoveries was that rice cereal is not an effective thickener - it tends to clump, so you have water-y parts and thick parts. Instead, we're now using something called Thick-It, which does the job in an even (and expensive, of course) manner. Using the thickener did not entirely stop the choking/gagging, but it did seem to minimize it.
By Friday night, we were both exhausted and hoping that Collin would sleep more comfortably. Well, Collin & Daddy (that's me) took that into their own hands around 3 am. I was getting ready to change a poopy diaper when I picked Collin up and moved him the length of the crib. His NG tube (still in under doctor's orders - "in case we need it again") caught on the blanket and the tape ripped off his face. I hit the nurse's call button as Collin began sneezing up his feeding tube inch-by-inch. By the time the nurse got there, she decided to pull the tube... and there was only a 1/2 inch left in his nose. (I really liked the night nurse - she confided that she'd wanted to pull the tube earlier!) With the tube, he began to take it easier... as would I, if you took a long yellow tube out of my body!
Saturday morning, we puttered around, wondering what came next. The attending physician came in and asked me if we wanted to go home - the answer, of course, was YES. Then began the Dance Of Discharge, which is only slightly shorter than the 30 Years War.
And since nothing is that easy - a doctor came in to "observe" Collin feed (as Shari requested) and left after a minute, since nothing was going wrong. Not 30 seconds after she left, Collin began gagging. We got into a long & not terribly productive discussion with our nurse, another nurse who was an "expert" on lactation, and the doctor. In short, the conversation proved that
- some doctors don't listen very well
- some doctors need etiquette courses (dismissing Shari's request with "we don't have time for that" being the most clear example)
- some doctors need to be careful about giving advice so freely when they've only glanced at the chart
We still went home - which we wanted, as it didn't seem like further discussion with the weekend staff was going to do anything. After renting a Medala pump and dealing with the pharmacy, we finally arrived home at 3 in the afternoon.
Well, it's 3 pm Sunday afternoon, and Collin is doing much better when we get the consistency of the feeds right. (For the record, what we're attempting to do flows like thick Malt-O-Meal.) Shari's getting some much needed sleep, and I'm back at the church, getting ready for two meetings & a missions study.)
Thanks for all who've been praying for us. Please don't stop now. :-)
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
No Red & White Striped Hat, Though
It's like playing Where's Waldo when Braeden decides to dive beneath the surface of the ball pit.
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