Reconstructing My Faith: John Wayne, Straight Lines, and the Benefits of Being a Nerd

John Wayne: Hollywood Icon

My favorite classic Hollywood actors are Jimmy Stewart and Gene Kelly… which, in the context of what I’m about to write, may offer a glimpse of insight into my own personal feelings. (Seriously – if you haven’t seen It’s a Wonderful Life, Singin’ in the Rain, Rear Window, or The Pirate, just stop reading this post and go have some fun. Then come back… I have a lot to say today.)

While I enjoyed John Wayne in a couple of his films, I’m not really a fan of most westerns.  His True Grit is very good, as is The Searchers – though you need to be ready for director John Ford subverting Wayne’s usual stock Western good guy character to deal with racism. Hint: John Wayne is NOT the hero in The Searchers.

Which brings me (finally) to Kristin Kobes Du Mez’s Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. You may have heard of it – either through the effusive praise of exvangelicals and folks who are deconstructing their evangelical upbringing, or through the blistering critiques of those who are defensive of the various ministries, leaders, and theological preferences (i.e. complementarianism) she calls out in the book. 

I originally read Jesus & John Wayne in December of 2020… and I actually finished the book one day before the January 6th insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. So, when I wrote my original review of the book on Goodreads, this is how I saw it:

My response to this well-researched trip through evangelical history is colored by my own personal experience of that history... and how I managed to avoid the worst excesses of "muscular Christianity" despite being around or involved with a variety of the organizations that the author profiles: Focus on the Family, Wild at Heart, Promise Keepers, Mars Hill Church (Seattle), and the Southern Baptist Convention.

I think that the author sometimes makes connections that may or may not be warranted... but she also does a tremendous job of surveying the problematic teachings and ministries that have influenced evangelical theology and political involvement.

I'm also aware that I would have read this book through very different lenses a decade ago... pre-Trump, pre-#ChurchToo... I'm going to spend a lot of time thinking about the issues she raises and what that means for how I live out what I believe.

I'd recommend this to any evangelical who wants to think carefully (and prayerfully) about how our tolerance for questionable teaching (and leaders) has created an evangelical culture ripe for fear-mongering, unbiblical rhetoric, and authoritarian demagogues in the pulpit and in politics.

Nearly two years later, I read Jesus & John Wayne again, wanting to write clearly about my own process of rejecting toxic versions of masculinity, whether they were taught from behind a pulpit or by the confused first world online culture. What I discovered was a little more complicated than that.

The Myth of a Straight Line

Later in 2021, I read and reviewed Heather Cox Richardson’s How The South Won the Civil War: Oligarchy, Democracy, and the Continued Fight for the Soul of America… and while I found a number of her ideas convicting and/or intriguing, I noted that she, like so many others, had fallen victim to “the myth of a straight line”. Here’s what I wrote:

It is profoundly tempting when attempting to make your point - whether it is drawing from historical precedent, religious text, or scientific data - to assert that since A happened, of course B occurred... and that inexorably led to C & D…

…I understand that Heather Cox Richardson wasn't writing a book about the SBC and its role in supporting the political structures and decisions she is criticizing. On her way to proving her point, however, she drew a straight line through a much thornier and complicated bit of history.

And that makes it more difficult for me to take in the rest of the book - leaving me to wonder where else she elided pesky historical facts or sandpapered down sharp edges from individuals or movements she supports. 

On a second read, that same tendency is even more pronounced in Jesus & John Wayne. I understand that Du Mez is arguing for a particular thesis:

By the time Trump arrived proclaiming himself their savior, conservative white evangelicals had already traded a faith that privileges humility and elevates “the least of these” for one that derides gentleness as the province of wusses. Rather than turning the other cheek, they’d resolved to defend their faith and their nation, secure in the knowledge that the ends justify the means… In reality, evangelicals did not cast their voted despite their beliefs, but because of them.

Unfortunately, the author’s dedication to that thesis leads to quoting primarily from those who agree with her premise and cherry-picking speakers and authors for their most egregious and toxic statements. Her use of “conservative white evangelicals” as a catch-all term (which sweeps decidedly Never-Trump me up in the same net) is problematic as well:

For conservative white evangelicals, the “good news” of the Christian gospel has become inextricably linked to patriarchal authority, gender difference, and Christian nationalism, and all of these are intertwined with white racial identity.

I’ll take just a moment to point that literally none of the things in the previous paragraph describe my own personal theological or political beliefs… and it is that dissonance that made the second reading of this book more difficult and frustrating.

Does that mean that the issues she raises about an overly militaristic approach to faith and a culturally loaded viewpoint about male & female roles are incorrect? Absolutely not. But it does mean that her expansive picture of the evangelical view of John Wayne/American Cowboy masculinity is not a Walter Cronkite-esque “and that’s the way it is”. 

Again, I don’t dispute that there have been a plethora of stupid and even potentially heretical things done/said by pastors and Christian leaders in an attempt to stampede evangelical believers into voting, giving, and behaving in certain ways. Fetishizing the cleansing of the Temple and the picture of the triumphant Christ in Revelation 19 while downplaying the compassion and patience of Jesus leads to skewed and unbiblical forms of engagement with God and with others.

At the same time, forming an image of your deity based on the prevailing cultural narrative is not restricted to American evangelicals in the 20th and 21st centuries. A big chunk of my personal “reconstruction” quest is to clean off the cultural barnacles that so easily accumulate on the ship of my Biblical faith in Christ.

Board Games Saved My Soul

Okay… maybe that headline is a little overblown – but I’ve come to believe that my non-athletic, theater-loving, board game-playing lifestyle protected me from most of the worst excesses of the “cowboys & warriors” culture in evangelical men’s ministry while enabling me to glean some incredibly helpful spiritual truths from those same folks. 

It's a weird paradox – the kid who was fascinated by war games and the history of the Civil War & World War II wasn’t particularly interested in shooting guns or tromping around in the woods. Due to extensive reading about battles and soldiering, I had a clear-eyed view of how horrific war could be – which fueled my admiration for veterans and those who gave their lives without mythologizing going to war as some kind of grand adventure.

But it wasn’t geek culture alone that helped me reject the overblown portrayals of Christian manliness. I was taught the truth of Scripture by wise female Sunday School teachers in SBC churches – including into my college years. At Baylor University, my key advisor at the Baptist Student Union was our assistant director, a single woman with a deeply compassionate heart and a willingness to ask the tough questions that helped me grow towards God. 

I also experienced deeply moving teaching and ministry through those ministries with a tendency towards “muscular Christianity” that Du Mez highlights in her book. I found parts John Eldredge’s Wild At Heart book & study to be warmed-over Iron John “back to nature” nonsense… but other parts – dealing with father wounds and living by vows rather than faith in God – were profoundly important in my walk with God. The staff at Focus on the Family’s ministry to pastors were incredibly helpful when I went through my first forced termination as a youth pastor, as were the staff at the Baptist Sunday School Board (now Lifeway). The PromiseKeepers Pastors Conference was a watershed moment for me in dealing with racial and denominational reconciliation. 

Yes, I understand the damage that various elements of those ministries and organizations have done – and, in some cases, continue to do. The books they write, the conferences they speak at, the interviews they give… all play a part in normalizing an unbiblical picture of Christian character, especially for men. Du Mez says it well in the book:

“The products Christians consume shape the faith they inhabit. Today, what it means to be a “conservative evangelical” is as much about culture as it is about theology.”

Final Thoughts

My responsibility as a follower of Jesus is to 

• continue the difficult process of separating Biblical truth from cultural baggage, even the baggage I’m personally comfortable with
• lean into the whole character of Christ
• ignore the gendering of character traits as “male” and “female”, particularly when they attempt to sideline clearly Biblical values such as mercy, compassion, and self-control
• speak truth

So, do I still think you should read Jesus & John Wayne? The simple answer is “yes” – even if it makes you mad, even if you find yourself arguing with it, even if it frustrates you with some “straight line” argumentation. Kristin Kobes Du Mez throws a blistering spotlight on the evangelical movement that highlights our tendency to echo parts of the culture we are in when it plays to our presuppositions… and our willingness to justify ungodly behavior in the name of preserving power and influence. We all need that wake up call.

Note: This post is already getting crazy long… so I’ll get into the role of women in ministry and in the life of the church in a different post – that’s a much bigger subject that deserves space to breath. The same is true of my reactions to Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill Church (Seattle).

This is the fifth post in a series... if you'd like to read the first four, here they are:

• #1: Reconstructing My Faith: Rocks, Dross, and Almonds
• #2: Reconstructing My Faith: Syndrome, Mars, and the "F" Word
• #3: Reconstructing My Faith: Cheaters, Ice, and Déjà vu
• #4: Reconstructing My Faith: Flywheels, Smokescreens, and The Medicine

Classic: Six-Word Memoirs - The Valentine's Day Edition

Heard these folks talking on Talk of the Nation more than a decade ago... the challenge was to write your love story (or not-so-lovely story) in six words. (There's a book, of course - which may make a nicer gift than a bag of those nasty chalky candy hearts.) My favorite:

"He sees the me I don't."

So, here's my attempt:

Peanut butter, chocolate - just like us.

The Myth of the Straight Line

My mom used to talk about her most hated class as a math major in college - Non-Euclidean Geometry. I don't pretend to understand even the smallest bit of the content of the class (I was lucky to escape high school Geometry with a C)... but I remember vividly the phrase that "the shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line." 

That's one of the many things that popped into my head as I finished reading Heather Cox Richardson's book, How The South Won the Civil War: Oligarchy, Democracy, and the Continued Fight for the Soul of America.

While I agree with a number of her ideas:

• the use of myths like The Lost Cause and the American Cowboy to perpetuate false narratives and questionable political positions
• the tendency toward elitism and othering to exclude "non-desirable" people groups from having a political voice
• the cynical choices of both political parties in the last 150+ years to ignore and/or reverse deeply held positions in order to maintain political power

I think there is a problem inherent in her book that, sadly, has become common in public discourse. That's the myth of the straight line.

It is profoundly tempting when attempting to make your point - whether it is drawing from historical precedent, religious text, or scientific data - to assert that since A happened, of course B occurred... and that inexorably led to C & D. 

When Drawing the Straight Line Leads You To Crooked Facts

Richardson's research assistants and editors let her down - or, in a less charitable explanation, she simply ignored easily available information - when it came to dealing with the Protestant denomination I grew up in and served as a pastor for nearly 30 years. 

Over the next few paragraphs, I'm going to attempt to explain my frustration with a set of historical circumstances I know well - and in some cases actually lived through - to show the author's tendency toward drawing straight, clean lines of cause & effect that may or may not accurately portray reality.

• Comparing the footnoted story in The Atlantic about a meeting between two powerful SBC leaders to Richardson's text:
• Atlantic article: "In 1967, at New Orleans’s historic Café du Monde, a young seminary student named Paige Patterson and Texas Judge Paul Pressler met over a plate of beignets to hatch a plan to unite conservative Southern Baptists and take over America’s largest Protestant denomination. The two men successfully executed their strategy in the subsequent decades, a movement they labeled the “Conservative Resurgence” and their opponents dubbed the “Fundamentalist Takeover.” Whatever one calls it, the result was a purging of moderates from among denominational ranks, the codifying of literal interpretations of the Bible, and the transformation of the Southern Baptist Convention into a powerful ally of the Republican Party."
  
• How The South Won the Civil War: "Some deemed [feminists] such a threat to American society that in 1967 men determined to stop the church from embracing rights for people of color and women launched a takeover of the Southern Baptists, the nation's largest Protestant denomination, to turn the religion away from the new ways and back to fundamentalism."

Let me make a few comments here:

1. The author leaves out the rest of the context of The Atlantic article, which goes into detail about the shunning of Patterson & Pressler in the SBC.
2. "Literal interpretations of the Bible" isn't a full or nuanced view of the debates over inerrancy of Scripture and various interpretations of difficult passages. Even extremely conservative theologians hold that there are various forms of literature in the Bible (poetry, history, apocryphal writings, etc.) that are not all interpreted literally. This is a broad brush "look at how backwards these yokels are" kind of argumentation.
3. "Fundamentalism" has become a curse word - and, in some cases, I completely understand why. But the very elasticity of its meaning makes it distinctly unhelpful when discussing theology and practice in a particular denomination (or, for that matter, any world religion).
4. Southern Baptists have dealt with racism in increasingly clear terms. The first convention resolution with teeth was passed in 1989 (after the Resurgence was well underway). I'd also recommend looking at the resolutions from 1995, 2015, and 2018. (Yes, I understand that resolutions don't always work their way into practice - but they are clear indications of how the most SBC-committed pastors & laypeople are thinking.)

The "Conservative Resurgence"/"Battle for the Bible"/"Fundamentalist Takeover" was a real thing in Southern Baptist life... but the implications that Richardson draws by her truncated description and word choices do not adequately reflect the complicated nature of that period in Baptist history.

• Incorrect information about Pat Robertson
• How The South Won the Civil War: "By 1988 evangelicals had become politically powerful enough to push one of their own ministers, Southern Baptist leader Pat Robertson, for the Republican presidential nomination."
• Problematic facts:
• Pat Robertson resigned as a Baptist minister in 1987 as he prepared for the presidential run.
• Pat Robertson's theology - which includes substantial amounts of charismatic doctrine (including his oft-maligned tendency to prophesy about politics) - is not in the mainstream of Southern Baptist theology or practice.
• Pat Robertson did not have a history of being a denominational leader in the SBC.

So, Richardson chose the technically correct appellation for Pat Robertson that fit her straight line narrative... when "televangelist" might have hewn closer to the truth.

Note: there are serious disagreements roiling the Southern Baptist Convention right now about these very issues - the place of critical race theory as a tool in examining orthodoxy and orthopraxy, the appropriate response to the slave-holding parts of our heritage as a denomination, and the ways in which we platform, support, and encourage brothers & sisters of color. All of that is important work - godly work that requires a clear understanding of our history and a Biblical willingness to renounce sin and embrace truth.

I have a long history serving SBC churches as a member and as a vocational minister. I've seen abject racism (Sunday School teachers who advocate for the pernicious "curse of Ham" heresy, deacons who shut down youth ministry events because they attract students of color, etc.) as well as believers who advocate for civil rights and the truth of Galatians 3:28. I had the privilege of pastoring a church that was mixed with Hispanic and Anglo members... in a Baptist state convention led a person of color. The narrative about racial issues and Southern Baptists is just not that simple.

Note as well that I understand that Heather Cox Richardson wasn't writing a book about the SBC and it's role in supporting the political structures and decisions she is criticizing. On her way to proving her point, however, she drew a straight line through a much thornier and complicated bit of history.

And that makes it more difficult for me to take in the rest of the book - leaving me to wonder where else she elided pesky historical facts or sandpapered down sharp edges from individuals or movements she supports.

One more non-SBC related example from a kid who went to high school & college in the 1980s: another footnoted article from USA Today states that "Because of its violence, Red Dawn became the first film ever to receive a PG-13 rating." Richardson's text reads: "In summer 1984, director John Milius brought to the nation's movie theaters what was, at the time, the most violent film ever made. Red Dawn was..." Those are not the same thing. 

This is Not Just a Problem for "Woke Leftist Socialist Sympathizers"

It's vital to note that straight lines aren't confined to the work of Heather Cox Richardson or the pundits on MSNBC. 

I'll take a recent example: George Rep. Andrew Clyde's description of the incursion of the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021: "Watching the TV footage of those who entered the Capitol and walked through Statuary Hall showed people in an orderly fashion staying between the stanchions and ropes taking videos and pictures... You know, if you didn't know the TV footage was a video from January the 6th, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit." 

Rep. Clyde is attempting (as has been his wont) to avoid labeling what happened an 'insurrection'. In that process, he's chosen to focus on the video clips from Statuary Hall. 

I had the privilege of taking a U.S. Capitol tour with a congressional staffer (well, two of them, actually) and my family back in the fall of 2015. I do not remember any part of my "normal tourist visit" allowing me to stand on the Senate chamber dais, enter the building through a window, or fight with a Capitol police officer.

Rep. Clyde is drawing a straight line - avoiding the facts that make his life (and politics) more complicated - in favor of a narrative that supports his own prior positions and support of the former President. 

The same is true of David Barton - whose Wallbuilders ministry has doubled down time and time again on America's founding as a Christian nation. That's despite ample historical evidence that shows a myriad of influences in the founding documents of the American experiment - some of which come from Scripture. By the same token, the religious affiliation and level of spiritual practice of the founding fathers varied widely.

There was an excellent article on The Lost Cause published on The Gospel Coalition website this last week that notes the same problem - the roots of this whitewashing (pun intended) of the Civil War are based in the same desire to draw a straight line that argues for a particular point.

Final Thoughts

There is much to like about Heather Cox Richardson's book - she notes some important ways in which the recent actions of "Movement Conservatives" echo the behaviors of some politicians both prior to and following the Civil War. As I wrote earlier in this piece, I see eye to eye with her on some of her main points. 

But just because I agree with someone does not mean I bury my head in the sand when they shade the story to make a point. As an outspoken critic of the former President and his habitual lying and gaslighting, I need to use the same critical eye to analyze the current President (the Georgia voting law has real problems, but it is not "Jim Crow on steroids"). Or any other writer, for that matter.

Some Thoughts on Dragons

Brooks Hanes (and his family) were a part of tc@hh (the church @ hickory hollow)... and when he posted this over the weekend, I asked his permission to re-post it on my blog.

Nowadays, dragons are fun, cuddly beasts. I suppose they have been made nice by our culture. I sense we may be wrong.

Back in the days of Middle Earth there was a different and more natural kind of dragon.

There is a scene in Tolkien’s The Hobbit where the nefarious Smaug is living on, dwelling in, and successfully guarding, what would seem the entire wealth of gold stolen from all of Middle Earth.

Then it hit me like a gold brick in the forehead: I realized dragons have no use for gold. There is nothing to gain from it, nothing to trade, no market of other dragons who can even redeem it for dragon coffee beans.

But there is one thing a dragon can get from it: the foulest and most entertaining pleasure of knowing no one else can have it.

In so many ways, in family, money, power, control, in events, even church, I see that indeed I am like this dragon. I want just so others cannot have.

Praise to God that He saves even the worst of dragons.

First, wow. "I want just so other cannot have." While I have personally managed to hide that sentiment from others, it still can chew away the superstructure of my walk with God... even if nobody else sees it.

Second, I was reminded of another dragon... in another fantasy world - Narnia. 

Sleeping on a dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself.The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (C.S. Lewis)

And I found a wonderful meditation on that chapter from Voyage of the Dawn Treader - one of my favorite passages in the Chronicles - written by Jennifer Nyhart - The Undragoning of Eustace.

Picture is "Smaug's Treasure" by the Brothers Hildebrandt.

I'm Not Dead Yet

OK, so the blog's been in hibernation for a while... suffice it to say that my life has been complicated, my job (though financially a blessing) is a time sink, and I've been using precious blogging time to actually play board games.

I'm going to try and get going again - though I will warn you ahead of time that there could be dry spells through the early fall. 

If you have a question for me to answer - it can be personal, spiritual, weird or just hobby-related - leave it in the comments section. I'll see if that doesn't inspire some more interesting (and offbeat) posts.

 Recent & Recommended

• APP - Descent: Road to Legend (app for the iPad that works with your Descent: Journeys in the Dark 2.0 games & expansions to create a GREAT cooperative experience)
• BOARD GAME - 7 Wonders: Duel (fantastic re-imagining of a multi-player classic as a 2 player game... can't wait for the expansion!)
• BOOK - The Aeronaut's Windlass (first book in Jim Butcher's newest series... steampunk-y and creative)
• CARD GAME - Bear Valley (weird little racing game that is easy to teach and fun to play... a run through bear-infested wilderness)
• MOVIE - Captain America: Civil War (all the ways it could have gone wrong... and it didn't)
• MUSIC - Andrew Peterson: The Burning Edge of Dawn ("The Rain Keeps Falling" is the song of my heart some days)
• PODCAST - Revisionist History (Malcolm Gladwell + odd bits of history + musing on human behavior)
• TV - Limitless (it's on Netflix... and it's cheerfully wacky)

My Top Five Podcasts (Which Could Change)

Let's start with a few simple statements of fact/personal opinion:

1. Podcasts are wonderful because I can listen to them in the car on my commute.
2. I have no interest in watching a podcast. Internet video as a review/podcast medium is pretty much lost on me.
3. I've actually gotten bored with most board gaming podcasts. 

That said, here's the top five podcasts on my iPhone (in order of how excited I am to listen to them):

• Pop Culture Happy Hour - I have not been shy over the years about expressing my love for the writing, humor & commentary of Linda Holmes, who is now runs the NPR pop culture blog, Monkey See. I first discovered her stuff on the (sadly) now-defunct Television Without Pity website where she recapped both Survivor and The Amazing Race. I'm not sure why it took me so long to add this roundtable discussion of music, film, books & television to my list, but I'm hooked by the witty conversation, the exuberant geekiness, and the "kicky theme music".
• The Unofficial Guide's Disney Dish with Jim Hill - The titular Jim Hill is great - and his co-host (Unofficial Guide's Len Testa) makes a perfect foil as they delve into Disney theme park plans, history and general craziness. For my money, the best of the Disney podcasts out there.
• Serial - I've written about Serial before... and goodness knows, the Internet has weighed in over & over about this podcast. During the first season, I downloaded the podcasts the MINUTE they were available and listened as soon as I could... it's a fascinating & evocative way to report on a huge story. Season 2 is coming...
• BoardgamesToGo - Mark Johnson was one of the earliest podcasters... and certainly one of the earliest board gaming podcasters. His wry yet warm & endearing approach to talking about our shared hobby is a delight to listen to. (Note: I've been a guest a number of times on the podcast and consider Mark a good friend*, so I may be a little prejudiced here.) Mark is currently taking a sabbatical from podcasting - but you've got a great back catalog to listen to while he's having a well-deserved "vacation". 
• Stuff You Missed In History Class - It's quirky, it's short (30 minutes), and the two hosts feel your geeky history nerd friends who can't wait to share their most recent research with you. 

For the record, I also listen to (though much more sporadically):

• Boardgame Babylon (why no new episodes, Eriku?! why!?)
• Garrett's Games & Geekiness (another podcast I've been a guest on)
• Ludology
• On the Media
• Theology of Games
• This American Life

I'm curious if my loyal readers have any suggestions for podcasts for me to add. What say you?

* Mark Johnson & I are often confused for one another - similar names, similar facial hair, same hobby. Here's how you can tell us apart:

• if you see us together, he's the tall one
• if you see one of us playing a fantasy-themed game, it's me
• if you see one of us working on actual science-y stuff, it's Mark Johnson

Hey, I Think You Missed Something

This was originally written in 2006... and I was preaching through 1st Thessalonians verse by verse. (For those of you who care, it's called "expository preaching".) In the process, I "jumped" past a few verses - but felt like I needed to cover them in some way - and so this article/blog post was written.

Those of you who've been following along with my message series on 1st Thessalonians (Overloaded) may notice this week that I skipped some verses between last week's message & this week. (Or you may not have noticed until I pointed it out - oh well.)

Either way, I want to take just a moment to comment on 1 Thessalonians 3:9-10:

How we thank God for you! Because of you we have great joy in the presence of God. Night & day we pray earnestly for you, asking God to let us see you again to fill up anything that may be still missing in your faith. (New Living Translation)

I don't know about you guys, but there are some days when my faith feels like it's missing something...  or lacking something. Or, if I want to be bluntly honest (and that's not a given, people), I feel like my faith is the 90 pound weakling of faith. Other faiths come along & kick sand on it and takes the good-looking girl away by flexing their faith muscles, while my faith lays there on the beach towel, dreaming of whatever the faith equivalent of a workout program might do.

So, why doesn't Paul (or somebody like him, since the Apostle Paul's been dead about 2000 years) show up and...

• "supply what is lacking in [my] faith" (NIV)
• "mend and make good whatever may be imperfect and lacking in [my] faith" (Amplified)

And then I have to dope slap myself - God has been sending me Paul (yep, even though he's deader than a doornail) to me since I was old enough to read. All I have to do is walk across the room and pick up a copy of the Bible. (If I'm really desperate, I can check myself into a cheap motel & swipe the Gideon Bible in the bedside stand.) Either way, I have access to 66 profoundly spiritual books compiled into one easy-to-carry volume.

As if that weren't enough, it's stunningly easy get "face-2-face" with a diverse crew of people who walked with God, thanks to the magic of Guttenberg's printing press. Everyone from the Bishop of Hippo (Augustine) to a guy who worked in a monastery kitchen (Brother Lawrence) to a Oxford professor of medieval literature (C.S. Lewis) can "walk with me" through their writings.

Finally, God did this crazy thing & created "the church" - not some monolithic bureaucracy but instead local groups of people who'd surrendered their lives to Him and were/are trying to live all of their lives in the light of God's grace & love. Which means that there are ready-made crews of people who want to do just what Paul talked about - "fill up anything that may still be missing in [my] faith." I just have to go and get involved.

My problem isn't a lack of options to grow & mature in my faith... it's a lack of follow through to enjoy the stuff God is sending me by the truckload.

Quotes of the Week

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.     Augustine, Bishop of Hippo

We must know before we can love. In order to know God, we must often think of Him. And when we come to love Him, we shall then also think of Him often, for our heart will be with our treasure.     .     Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

Though our feelings come & go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.     C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Classic: Will the Vampire People Please Leave the Lobby?

I actually read & reviewed this book back in 2007... and since then a number of things have happened:

• Thanks to the gazillion dollars that THE AVENGERS movie has made, Joss Whedon is now a really big deal for more than just sci-fi & horror nerds.
• The job I'm currently working is due to a gamer friend.
• What I said 7 years ago is still true... and worth repeating.

This really isn't a book review... let's call it a "book reaction". Of course, that doesn't keep me from saying reviewer-ish kinds of things about Will The Vampire People Please Leave The Lobby?: True Adventures in Cult Fandom, but that won't be my focus here.

I personally have a weird relationship with Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - I didn't watch the show while it was being broadcast. I only found it in late 2002, thanks to my buddy (Chris Herndon) loaning me the DVD sets during my 4 month stint as a 3rd shift customer service rep at JC Penney's Nashville call center. (There's another portion of my life that's blog-worthy... if not exactly G-rated. Remind me and someday I'll tell the tales of Panty Man, Lingerie Girl, and the inability of middle management to make up their ever-lovin' minds about darn near anything.)

So, on the nights that I wasn't working 10 pm - 5 am, I stayed up anyway (to keep my internal clock regulated) and watched movies & old TV shows. Thanks to Chris and the Internet, I watched the shows in order - actually watching Buffy/Angel in tandem on the seasons where they overlapped.

I liked the shows - a lot. Yes, I was bothered by the copious amounts of sex & blood, but (as in many other "questionable" shows that I've enjoyed & been moved by) none of their behaviors as characters were consequence-free. Episodic TV is has a huge advantage over film in this - you can take the time to show the fallout of bad and/or sinful decisions in 24 episodes/year.

One last bit of Buffy commentary before I return to the actual topic of the post... sigh. The first three seasons are really, really great (esp. 2 & 3) - and the first part of season 4 has some wonderful moments (including the episode, "Hush", which could be the best episode of the entire series), but when it turns into Frankenstein Meets The X-Files, it really falls apart. There are nice moments & characters for the rest of the run (I actually liked Dawn, if not the story that brought her into play), but seasons 5-7 are, for the most part, watching something wonderful grow less & less enchanting. Angel's first 3 seasons are also very good (again, esp. 2 & 3), but season 4 was a mess. Season 5 came back & reimagined the series in some very funny & interesting ways, but the impending cancellation & the loss of Buffy (the series) made for some pretty dark viewing. Consider yourself warned.

OK, two Joss Whedon notes (wonder if I'm EVER going to get back to the book?!):

1. Yes, I'm aware of Buffy Season 8 (a comic book series authored by the creator of Buffy) - I just haven't read any of it yet.
2. Yes, I've seen Firefly - both the series & the film - and it's one of those sad stories of something that was probably too good for television. (Join the club: I'm a fan of Boomtown, Sports Night & Kidnapped as well.)

Alrighty then, back to the point of this now way-too-long post. (Yes, campers, ALL of what proceeded that was geeky introduction. Sheesh.) Allyson Beatrice has written a snarky but enjoyable book about, well, it starts off about Buffy/Angel fandom & actually ends up being an autobiographical trip through Allyson's life.

What really struck a chord with me was not the details of the Buffy online fandom community (I've never even been particularly interested in discussing Buffy online) but the resonance that her experience in that online community had with my experiences in the world of board gaming.

She talks about how she "watched as people got their doctorates, passed the bar exam, got divorced, grappled with the death of a parent, left their homes & countries to start a new life." And then she says something pretty profound:

"Watched" is the wrong verb. I watched Buffy, and I engaged the fandom.

It's that engagement, the stories of how an online message board for the discussion of symbolism in a TV show about vampires & teenagers could turn into a living, breathing community that fascinated me. She talks about conventions & meet-ups, of how virtual connections turned into face-2-face connections...

...and I'm instantly transported back to my days on rec.games.board (anyone else out there remember Usenet?!) and how I hooked up with a gamer across town by the name of Rob Wood. I decided for safety's sake to meet him at the church I worked at, along with my friends Chris & Buster. That was in the spring of 1997... and by the fall of that year, he'd introduced me to Ted Cheatham, another online buddy who came through town on business & was always up for playing games.

Ted was my connection to what was to become Gulf Games, a wonderful twice-a-year invitation only family gaming event - which he started with Greg Schloesser (When they first met after chatting over the Internet, BOTH of their wives were sure they were about to go meet an axe murderer) & Ty Douds.

Over the years, I've conversed with literally hundreds of gamers online - both inside & outside the U.S. Friendships have been formed from the constant communication - as Allyson so beautifully puts it in her book:

It's been three years since the series finale of Buffy aired, and I still have a hard time telling people just how it is that I have a bed in which to sleep in thirty-two states and five countries. 

Someday, it'll be socially acceptable to say, "Oh, we can stop in Des Moines for dinner. I know a couple of Vampire People there."

The next chapter is about her relationship with one of the writers of the show - and the odd blend of friendship & hero worship that can happen online. I've seen the same thing play out with some of the game designers in the board gaming world... again, a familiar resonant chord.

And at that point, the book pretty much takes a dive. (Told you I'd get all reviewer-like.) One really nice chapter about bringing an online friend to visit the U.S. (a cooperative effort by the online community) goes on too long, including pages of e-mails that really only have meaning to those who originally wrote them. (Did the editor fall asleep at the switch here?) There's some interesting bits about "Munchausens By Internet" and trying to save Firefly, but the strongest parts of the book are all up front.

Best part of reading the book: being reminded that I need to thank God for the gift of my internet family. Thank you, Jesus, for using something as mundane as an iMac to draw people into my life to love & be loved by...

A Book Review (Who Made the Moon?) + Some Creation/Evolution "Debate" Links

First, the review...

Who Made the Moon?: A Father Explores How Faith & Science Agree


This should be required reading for pretty much every Christian parent… seriously. The author, Sigmund Brouwer, honestly struggles with cosmology systems, anthropic principles, the history of those in power marginalizing those who are not (in earlier centuries: the Church; today: the scientific establishment), and gracefully & thoughtfully dealing with reconciling faith & science.

 

My guess is that some people will be highly offended by things he has to say, even though he is extraordinarily gracious in his approach. The list of people who might be offended include:

• those who believe science is in opposition to Christianity
• those who subscribe to “young earth” creationism
• those who find Dawkins & Harris compelling instead of irritating
• those who are afraid anything less than total repudiation of evolution is shaking hands with the Devil

I still remember my dad sitting with me on a rock on the edge of the Grand Canyon as we looked at the geological history laid bare in the layers of rock. He looked at me & said, “God spent two chapters in His book talking about how He made the earth. He spent a lot more time talking about how much He loves us, enough to send Jesus to die for us. Which do you think He wants us to concentrate on?” It’s this kind of attitude that Brouwer encourages in this very well written book.

 

Even as I write this, I realize that some will assume that Brouwer is advocating that Christians roll over & play dead… become the lap dog of science. Far from it! He suggests that we learn more about science – and in the process, see our faith affirmed by truth, scientific or otherwise.

 

...and now the links about this week's "debate" between Ken Ham & Bill Nye. (There is, of course, a "ham on nye with a side of cole slaw" joke just sitting right there.)

Important note: not really interested in debating the details of young/old earth theories... at all.

 

Ed Stetzer - Americans & the Creation Vs. Evolution Debate (written before the debate)

As one might expect, religious Americans heavily favor creationism 67% to 27%. Irreligious Americans are the opposite, favoring evolution 64% to 25% (and I'd love to know the irreligious people who believe in special creation!). While this breakdown of the numbers might not be surprising, it does show that one's view of the our origin is strongly tied to one's view of God.

Greg Atkinson - Ken Ham, The Bible, and the Creation Vs. Evolution Debate

Let me share my own view of Creation first: I agree with pastors and authors like Mark Driscoll and Matt Chandler when it comes to Creation. I do not believe in the theory of evolution. I believe “God created the heavens and the earth” – and life for that matter. However, like Driscoll and Chandler, I don’t get caught up in “new earth” or “old earth” debates.

 Casey Luskin - The Ham-Nye Creation Debate: A Huge Missed Opportunity

People will walk away from this debate thinking, "Ken Ham has the Bible, Bill Nye has scientific evidence." Some Christians will be satisfied by that. Other Christians (like me) who don't feel that accepting the Bible requires you to believe in a young earth will feel that their views weren't represented. And because Ham failed (whether due to time constraints, an inflexible debate strategy, lack of knowledge, inadequate debate skills, or a fundamentally weak position) to offer evidence rebutting many of Nye's arguments for an old earth, young earth creationist Christians with doubts will probably feel even more doubtful. Most notably, however, skeptics won't budge an inch. Why? Because Ham's main argument was "Because the Bible says so," and skeptics don't take the Bible as an authority. They want to see evidence.

30 Questions 8 Years Later...

I originally posted answers to Mark Haberman's meme back in 2006 - back before the word "meme" even existed. (It looks like his blog is completely gone now... sigh.)

Anyhoo, it's 8 years later, and I figure the answers to these questions might (a) need revising a bit, and (b) be a good introduction to the newer readers of my blog.

1. How long have you been gaming?

I've played board & card games as long as I can remember. Over the years, I've had forays into nearly every area of gaming:

• classic American (the 1970's): Monopoly, Prize Property, King Oil, etc.
• wargames (late 70's/early 80's): Wooden Ships & Iron Men, Squad Leader Third Reich, etc.
• role-playing (early 80's): Dungeons & Dragons, Runequest, Traveller
• Games Workshop board games (mid-late 80's): Talisman, Fury of Dracula, Dungeonquest, etc.

It was finally in the late 80's that I discovered via Games Magazine that there was another world of gaming out there: Euros. (Well, at that point, "German" games.) I bought every Ravensburger game I could find that didn't look like it was for 5 year olds.

Then, in the mid-90's, two incidents changed my gaming hobby into an obsession:

1. buying a copy of Phantoms of the Ice from White Wind Games... bringing me into contact with Alan Moon & the rest of the White Wind line. That contact led to an invitation to the Gathering of Friends...
2. finding Linie 1 and Modern Art in a game store in Cinncinati, OH... I spent over $100 on the two of them (highway robbery!) but I was hooked...

Within the next few years came Settlers... then an online connection with Rob Wood - which led to a friendship with Ted "Roving Reporter" Cheatham - which led to an invitation to the second Gulf Games and becoming buddies with Greg Schloesser and yadda yadda yadda.

2. What was your first "Euro" game?

I think it was Scotland Yard... though I also have an early AH copy of Adel Verpflichtet.

3. Which game sucked you in?

Which time?! :-)

• wargames: definitely Third Reich - looking back, I'm still amazed we fought our way through the rule book
• roleplaying: D&D - a group of us read the cover article in Games Magazine and hunted down the "blue" starter box - $10. (Wish that was all I had spent on D&D... man, what I laid out for graph paper alone would finance a small 3rd world country...)
• Games Workshop games: Talisman
• Euros: Scotland Yard was good, but Midnight Party is what hooked me on Ravensburger games... and it was Settlers that shifted the whole thing into overdrive.

4. What is your favorite game?
Back in 2006, I noted that "Today, it's probably Return of the Heroes/Under the Shadow of the Dragon. Over time, it's either El Grande or Settlers of Catan."

Eight years later, my current favorites are Eminent Domain & Descent: Journeys in the Dark (2nd edition)... while over time, I'd choose Race for the Galaxy, Memoir '44 and (still) The Settlers of Catan.

5. What is your least favorite game?

Wow. Such a long list to choose from... Devil Bunny Needs A Ham is pretty high up there (or low down there), as is Lunch Money, Munchkin (and all it's evil spawn), Wortelboer, Krieg & Fremden, and Vox Populi. (This list hasn't changed much, by the way... I've learned over time to avoid things I know I won't enjoy and that's made my life oh so much more enjoyable.)

6. Open or closed holdings?

For the uninitiated, there are a number of games (most notably Acquire) that have very important information hidden from other players that is trackable if you're a good card counter. Many people prefer to play with this information open to make the game less "mean."

I like holdings open for Acquire... but I don't particularly like Acquire, so there.

7. To gamble or not to gamble?

I don't gamble for money - but I'm happy to play Poker for chips. Or M&M's... though I'm in major danger of eating my winnings.

8. How much luck do you like in your games?

It just depends... sometimes I love the wild swings of fortune and other times I want total control. What I don't want is perfect information games.

9. Last three games played?

Warage, Coin Age & Clash of Cultures

10. Last three games purchased?

Clash of Cultures, Descent: Journeys in the Dark - Labyrinth of Ruin & Coin Age.

11. Pack rat or trader?

I'll trade stuff... but only if I really don't enjoy it. Otherwise it stays in the collection.

While that's still true (for the most part), my collection shed about 250 games early in 2013 what with moving from California.

12. What game are you thinking about right now?
After my eldest son beat me by ONE point last night in Clash of Cultures, my brain keeps trying to work out how I could have raised another warrior to prevent his flotilla of death & mayhem from swinging the game in his favor. (I really like the open-ended tech/advances system & the way the game flows... a new favorite after one play.

13. What's your favorite mechanic?

I don't know that I have one... but I like it when the mechanics mesh with the theme. (Goldland is an excellent example. More recently, Agricola & Fresco do a splendid job of this.)14. What is your favorite theme?

I like exploration games a whole lot.

15. Who is your favorite designer?

It's a toss-up between Klaus Teuber (Settlers, Gnadelos, Anno 1503, Entdecker, Lowenherz) and Wolfgang Riedesser (Dschungelrennen, Ausgebremst).

Eight years down the road, I need to add in Rob Daviau (Heroscape, Risk Legacy).

16. Best gaming experience?

Gulf Games... I'm hard-pressed to choose individual games, but particular highlights include:

• Shanghai (BAD game, GREAT company) with Ted Cheatham, Greg Schloesser & Craig Berg
• Princes of Florence with Derk, Vonda, Jon Pessano & ?... wining after Derk talked major trash about me being a fluffy gamer
• Waldschattenspiel with Frank Branham in a darkened kitchen

And so many others... sigh.

Eight years later, I need to add two other experiences:

• running my own invitational mini-con in Fresno (Stained Glass Games) for four years... what with the yearly Ca$h'n'Gun$ Live and the Memoir '44 Overlord and the wonderful times we had
• winning the Can't Stop tournament at the Gathering of Friends in 2013!

17. Worst gaming experience?

Perpetual Notion with my Bible study group - we renamed it "The Fight Game".

18. Favorite game for 2 players?

Memoir '44... even when I lose, I enjoy the ride. (Close second: Summoner Wars.)

19. Favorite game for 3 players?

Schappchen Jagd... I can't spell the game, but I love to play it.

20. Favorite game for 5 players?

Sadly, it's no longer El Grande. I grew weary of being targeted each time I played... so, I guess Princes of Florence & Puerto Rico take the honors.

21. Favorite game for 6 players?

Entenrallye. Just as long as one of them isn't Dave Vander Ark. (Hi, Dave!)

22. Favorite party game?

Time's Up, followed closely by Smarty Party. (This has reversed in 8 years... Smarty Party is now - barely- in the lead.)

23. Do you value Theme or Mechanics more?

Like I said earlier, I value the meshing of the two... I want a theme that works and/or draws me in that lines up with the mechanics of the game.

24. What color do you want to use to play with?

I like being yellow, but I don't always get to do that. I'd rather not be "doody brown" (which is an option in some of my games.)

25. What is your favorite movie?

"The Princess Bride"... followed closely by "Raising Arizona" and "The Truman Show".

Addendum from 2014: and pretty much anything Pixar makes.

26. What is your favorite book?

• Fiction: The Silver Chair (C.S. Lewis)
• Non-Fiction: Seizing Your Divine Moment (Erwin McManus) & Blue Like Jazz (Donald Miller)

27. Last three books read?

• End of Days: The Assassination of John F. Kennedy (James Swanson)
• Allegiant (Veronica Roth)
• Spirituality for the Rest of Us (Larry Osborne)

28. Last three movies watched?

• Despicable Me 2 (not as good as the first film... but still fun)
• Monsters University (not as good as the first film... but better than most of the animation from anyone else - I like how the story went in some unpredictable directions even though it was a prequel)
• The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (while the movie plays around a bit with the storyline, this film actually does a better job than the first one of capturing the horror & oppression that permeates this story)

29. Favorite beverage?

When I answered eight years ago, I was (pre-gall bladder surgery) off of carbonated beverages. No longer! I am a Coke Zero man now!

30. What are the three most important people in your life?

My wife, Shari, and my two boys, Braeden & Collin. (No surprise here, right?!)

Touched by Books

The meme showed up a couple of weeks ago... and finally got to me (thanks to a good friend from my English major "sic 'em, Bears!" days at Baylor U.) on Tuesday. The instructions were as follows:

List 10 books that have stayed with you. Try not to think too hard. They don't have to be "right" or "great works" they just have to have touched you in some way.

And so I did.

And now I'm sharing that list with you. (They are in no particular order - except the first one. Which is first.)

1. The Bible (especially Habakkuk & James) 

There’s no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you’re no good for anything else. The last and final word is this: 

Fear God. 

Do what he tells you.   

Ecclesiastes 12:12-13, The Message

2. Soul Cravings - Erwin McManus

Bitterness is the enemy of love because it makes you unforgiving and unwilling to give love unconditionally. It is the enemy of hope because you keep living in the past and become incapable of seeing a better future. It is the enemy of faith because you stop trusting in anyone but yourself

3. Cadillac Desert - Marc Reisner

When archaeologists from some other planet sift through the bleached bones of our civilization, they may well conclude that our temples were dams. Imponderably massive, constructed with exquisite care, our dams will outlast anything else we have built... The permanence of our dams will merely impress the archaeologists; their numbers will leave them in awe. In this century, something like a quarter of a million have been built in the United States alone.

4. Astro City graphic novel series - Kurt Busiek

He was saving innocents and serving truth. And in the final judgement, what is more important? The burdens we bear -- or the way we bear them?

5. The Great Divorce - C.S. Lewis

There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. Those who knock it is opened.

6. Columbine - Dave Cullen 

My big surprise was that most of what we "know" about Columbine was wrong. It wasn't about the jocks, goths or the Trenchcoat Mafia. The killers didn't even see themselves as school shooters: their primary focus was the bombs.

7. Prince Ombra - Roderick MacLeish

It is said, and it is true, that just before we are born, a cavern angel puts his finger to our lips and says, “Hush, don’t tell what you know.” This is why we are born with a cleft on our upper lips and remembering nothing of where we came from.

8. The Twenty-One Balloons - William Pene du Bois ...

Half of this story is true and the other half might very well have happened.

9. The Once & Future King - T.H. White

It was well for him, with his chivalry and mysticism, to make the grand renunciation. But it takes two to make love, or to make a quarrel. She was not an insensate piece of property to be taken up or laid down at his convenience. You could not give up a human heart as you could give up drinking. The drink was yours, and you could give it up: but your lover's soul was not you own: it was not at your disposal; you had a duty towards it.”

10. Spirituality for the Rest of Us: A Down-to-Earth Guide to Knowing God - Larry Osborne  

God often liked to hang with and bless the very people I'd been told he'd want nothing to do with.