Classic: Memory Is A Funny Thing

Certain things trigger memories - places, songs, smells, whatever. It was over 35 years ago when my best friend, Keith, came bounding across the AstroTurf greens of the Camelot miniature golf course (just off the 91, for those who know the area) to ask me for $20 based on "The Agreement." (We had a deal... if either one of us got a date & was short on cash, we could hit the other up for $20 without question.) I handed him a twenty, he smiled & bounded away again - and then I turned to explain this odd exchange to my date.

Of course, as strong as that memory is, neither of us ended up married to the girls we saw that evening. But when I passed Camelot earlier this year on my way to a ministry conference, the memory came flooding back.

When I loaded my CD collection into iTunes, I realized that a number of those CD's have strong connection with place & time as well. I was driving around the back side of Cal State Fullerton when I first heard Michael W. Smith's "The Big Picture"... and Tonio K's "You Belong With Me" always makes me think of Shari Jo, because I put it on not one but TWO mix tapes I made for her. (Yes, I am John Cusack in the film, "High Fidelity", except I don't own a vintage record store.)

And I can't hear the hymn, "Just As I Am" (which is NOT the same thing as Andrew Peterson's "Just As I Am" which we're using in the worship service Sunday morning) without flashing to a little Central TX church where the music/drama group that I directed was the "special guest" for a night of their youth revival. When it came to the invitation (the part of the service where the pastor asks folks who want to respond to come down to the front of the church), he drafted my roommate to lead the congregation in singing - you guessed it - "Just As I Am". Jeff jumped up front & sang out... but then reality set in.

You see, "Just As I Am" in the old school Baptist Hymnal has 7 verses - seven! People began coming down front, so we got to sing all 7 verses - and Jeff, who managed to get up there without a hymnal, was lost by the third verse. We attempted to feed him lyrics from the front pew without being obnoxious or breaking the mood of the worship service, but it was a lost cause.

It's one of those situations that is alternately horrifying & hilarious - here's my good friend & roommate, a talented guy, who's completely adrift, trying to lead a congregation of people through the less-traveled regions of a slow & solemn hymn while he himself has absolutely no idea what he should be singing and is trying to lip-read the lyrics from the rest of us.

For some of you who are reading this, your church memories aren't hilarious - they're just horrifying. When you think about church, you flash on business meetings that spun out of control in sickening ways. You have no trouble conjuring up the sound of a graceless preacher haranguing a crowd or the razor-edged laughter of gossiping church members. 

Some of you have church memories that are interesting largely because of their absence of interest - you might ending up using like "droning", "uninspired" or the ever popular "boring." (You can say it like a teenager if you like, with two syllables: "Boh-ring..." It's fun, I promise.) 

Regardless of the content & quality of your memories, whether it's a Pavlovian response to the smell of a musty church air conditioner or tears of joy that well up in your eyes when you hear "Amazing Grace," they aren't just memories. Our past - or at least how we remember our past - has a huge effect on right now... and on the future. 

See, if the controlling image in your head of church is a fort, then you're going to think in terms of church as a place to hide, as people gathered behind a thick set of walls hell-bent (yes, I chose that phrase on purpose) at defending themselves against all the godless people on the outside. If the imagery of church life in your head is primarily a collage of preachers behind large wooden pulpits or standing above a congregation in their robes with dust motes floating around their heads, you're primed to see church as a place where stupid people go to hear a smart guy show off how smart he is & how damned they are. 

And if you resonate like a tuning fork with my mentioning gossip-y laughter... if the sound of people talking behind their hands in stage whispers is like nails scratching down a chalkboard for you, you can easily come to see church as a beauty parlor with crosses on the wall or a country club where the Muzak comes straight from a Wurlitzer pipe organ. 

That's sad to me - sad not just as a former pastor (because people who feel like that are really unlikely to take a chance & see what a healthy church is really about) but also sad for them - because they've let their past dictate their present... and their future. 

Over a decade ago, I tried to suggest a few alternative pictures for the church in a sermon series I preached:

• diving board - The church is a springboard for us to use to dive into the world with the love & grace of Jesus Christ. It does no good for us to sit on the board - we never get the pleasure of splashing in the world God created... and we never touch those who live there.
• emergency room - Everybody without exception has some kind of injury - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. No one has "arrived"... and so, just like a hospital emergency room, people in varying states of fear, frustration & need mix together, seeking hope & healing.
• convenience store - Convenience stores aren't convenient for the people who work in them - who in their right mind wants to sell beer & candy to people in the middle of the night while worrying about some nutball trying to rip off the register for a hundred bucks & change?! Convenience stores are convenient for the customer. In the same way, churches shouldn't be convenient for the members but for the people who need Jesus.

Some of you have reached this point and are thinking: "OK, I like those pictures better... but the junk of my past is a whole lot stronger than Mark's messages & a couple of PowerPoint slides." Let me suggest something simple.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:12-14, NLT)

Or, to shorten it up a bit (and add in some U2 at the same time), don't let yourself get "stuck in a moment." Ask God for help to get unstuck... maybe something like this: 

Jesus, it is so hard for me to let go of the past hurts & wounds inflicted on me & others by people who claimed to be Your followers. It feels like trapped like a fly in amber... melt the memories and warm my heart, Jesus. Give me the ability to make more steps toward You and Your people, the church. In Your name, amen.

This post is an edited version of a post I wrote in January 2009.

Graceland (Classic)

I wrote this 12 years ago... and I'm still kind of amazed about how much it resonates with my heart & life.

There's a great scene in the long-since-defunct dramedy TV series "Sports Night". (Actually, there are a lot of great scenes, but that didn't prevent it from getting cancelled. Sigh.) Dan & Casey, the anchors of the show, are waiting for the show to start, when Dan blurts out:

Dan: Eli's Coming.

Casey: Eli?

Dan: From the Three Dog Night song.

Casey: Yes?

Dan: Eli is something bad, a darkness.

Casey: "Eli's coming. Hide your heart, girl." Eli is a inveterate womanizer. I think you're getting the song wrong.

Dan: I know I'm getting the song wrong. But, when I first heard it, that's what I thought it meant. Things stick with you that way.

OK, I'm the first to admit that the only Three Dog Night songs I knew before seeing this episode were "One (is the Loneliest Number)", "Black & White" and "Joy to the World." (We sang the last a bunch of times in elementary school music class, only without the verse about drinking the bullfrog's mighty fine wine.) Still, I understand what Dan's talking about - how you hear something the first time can lock in meaning & emotion for years to come. 

Sometimes, it's because we get the lyrics wrong. My father-in-law & I spent untold time & energy convincing my bride-to-be (Shari!) that Ariel was NOT singing "pregnant women, sick of swimming" in THE LITTLE MERMAID - I lost count of how many times we rewound the videotape. For the record, the correct lyrics to "Part of Your World" are:

Betcha on land they understand

Bet they don't reprimand their daughters

Bright young women, sick of swimmin'

Ready to stand

Other times, it's because the the song grabs you by the throat because of a particular thematic idea or image. A good friend from college (who shall remain nameless) could hear the first few chords of Chicago's "Hard Habit To Break" and instantly be plunged back into the morass of his break-up with his first long-time girlfriend - so much so that he chose to avoid the album & the song. (He's happily married now... but I have no idea if the Chicago avoidance plan is still in effect.)

And in my case, it's making an assumption about a song based on the lyrical images intertwining with my personal background & theology. Ladies & gentlemen, I give you the title cut from Paul Simon's groundbreaking album, "Graceland":

The Mississippi delta was shining

Like a national guitar

I am following the river

Down the highway

Through the cradle of the Civil War

I'm going to Graceland

Graceland

In Memphis Tennessee

I'm going to Graceland

Poorboys and pilgrims with families

And we are going to Graceland

My traveling companion is nine years old

He is the child of my first marriage

But I've reason to believe

We both will be received

In Graceland

She comes back to tell me she's gone

As if I didn't know that

As if I didn't know my own bed

As if I'd never noticed

The way she brushed her hair from her forehead

And she said losing love

Is like a window in your heart

Everybody sees you're blown apart

Everybody sees the wind blow

And my traveling companions

Are ghosts and empty sockets

I'm looking at ghosts and empties

But I've reason to believe

We all will be received

In Graceland

There is a girl in New York City

Who calls herself the human trampoline

And sometimes when I'm falling, flying

Or tumbling in turmoil I say

Oh, so this is what she means

She means we're bouncing into Graceland

And I see losing love

Is like a window in your heart

Everybody sees you're blown apart

Everybody sees the wind blow

In Graceland, in Graceland

I'm going to Graceland

For reasons I cannot explain

There's some part of me wants to see

Graceland

And I may be obliged to defend

Every love, every ending

Or maybe there's no obligations now

Maybe I've a reason to believe

We all will be received

In Graceland

I know now that Paul was writing about the demise of his marriage and a road trip he took with his son to see Graceland. And, while I'm not a big fan of Elvis, I realize that he's talking about the palatial mansion with the music note gates on the south side of Memphis. Still, I hear lines like "I've reason to believe we all will be received in Graceland" and I hear echoes of biblical truth:

But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

(2 Peter 3:8-9, NLT)

And when I think about my the reality of my own life - the struggles with pornography & selfishness & bitterness - the line about "the girl who calls herself the human trampoline" feels like Paul Simon has been watching me with hidden cameras. "Losing love is like a window in your heart... everybody sees you're blown apart" - yep, someone get Garfunkel's buddy out of the spy van and tell him to take the bug out of my telephone.

But all of us are "bouncing into Graceland": those of us who've been human trampolines & those who've jumped on us, the poorboys and pilgrims, the old & young, those who are smarter than a whip or dumber than a post, well-behaved and/or ill-mannered, whoever. Regardless if you've put more miles than years on your life (tip o' the proverbial hat to Indiana Jones) or if you rival the Pharisees for your devotion & self-righteousness, you can be received in the gracious arms of Jesus.

Jesus does not divide the world into moral "good guys" and the immoral "bad guys." He shows us that everyone is dedicated to a project of self-salvation, to using God and others in order to get power and control for themselves. We are just going about it in different ways...

...The gospel (good news) of Jesus is not religion or irreligion, morality or immorality, moralism or relativism, conservatism or liberalism. Nor is it something halfway along a spectrum between two poles -- it is something else altogether.

The gospel is distinct from the other two approaches: In its view, everyone is wrong, everyone is loved, and everyone is called to recognize this and change.

(Tim Keller, The Prodigal God)

I've said it before, I'll say it again: no matter who you are, where you came from or what you have or have not done, Jesus loves you. Graceland is more than just the mansion of a dead pop star.

Bounce His way...

The Intersection

Here we stand on this busy street corner

At the intersection of memories and tradition

The traffic circle where what we believe

and what we hope for

and we hope in

Merge

And yet the temptation is to rubberneck

To look at the pretty lights

Tear open the carefully wrapped presents

Admire the Nativity sets for their beauty

rather than their meaning

And while there's nothing wrong with

enjoying the scenery

Perhaps it would help to remind ourselves

that the ultimate destination

of this Baby's journey

is the Cross

and the Tomb

And we are here at the intersection

of God's grace

and our sin

The traffic circle where His love for us

and our hopelessness without Him

Merge

poem by Mark Jackson

Costumes

The stupidest Halloween costume I've ever worn was actually a decent costume - just wildly inappropriate.

And no, it wasn't a toga.

I'm guessing I was 11 or 12 years old when I decided to put on my heaviest winter coat, a pair of swimming goggle with large individual eye pieces, a knit cap & my for-real camping/hiking backpack (stuffed with newspaper)... to be a climber. It actually was a pretty good-looking costume, if I don't say so myself.

The only problem is where I was wearing these layers of heat-trapping stuff - in southern California on a particularly warm Halloween night. It was like being trapped in a sweat factory of my own making.

It's an apt metaphor for the masks most of us wear around 24/7 - the "I've got it all together" and/or "I'm a Christian so nothing is wrong in my life, no sirree" layers of protective costume we try to hide behind when our worlds are actually coming apart at the seams.

It's time for us to do emotionally & spiritually what I did physically that night - acknowledge that the candies of this life are just not worth it... and turn around & go home so we can strip this monstrosity off.

Home, by the way, is a place where God is real and you are safe to explore the dangerous message of Christ's grace. For me, that's my church (Grace Church in Hendersonville, TN). It's only in the context of other followers of Christ who are struggling with same tendency to suit up and hide that I can really deal with my personal leanings toward inauthentic and spiritually destructive behavior.

A version of this post originally appeared as part of the NewLife Community Church Grapevine... I've edited and rewritten it because I like you guys.

Pride (In the Name of Facebook)

I have 853 friends on Facebook and 746 followers on Twitter. I even have 305 GeekBuddies on BoardGameGeek.  And, if I'm really honest about what's going on inside my head, my life is better than 90% of them.

That's right - I said out loud (ok, I typed it) what we all pretend doesn't go through our heads every time we pull up a social networking website. It's that sense of smug superiority that bubbles in our hearts as we view someone else's life & life choices:

• "My kids are smarter/prettier/better behaved than their kids."
• "My job is cooler/better paying than their job."
• "I'm still married & they're divorced."
• "I believe in Jesus and they don't."

This is still pride and it's still deadly. It's just harder to see because it takes the form of the subtle putdown rather than the obvious puffing up. The unstated rationalization is "I'm not being proud; I'm just glad my life isn't like theirs."

We may couch it in spiritual clichés - the classic is "There but for the grace of God go I." Honestly, that's mostly Christian-ese code for "Thank God I'm not like them."

Of course, there's a Bible story (Luke 18:9-14) that sounds rather like this...

Jesus told a story to some people who thought they were better than others and who looked down on everyone else:

Two men went into the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood over by himself and prayed, "God, I thank you that I am not greedy, dishonest, and unfaithful in marriage like other people. And I am really glad that I am not like that tax collector over there. I go without eating for two days a week, and I give you one tenth of all I earn." The tax collector stood off at a distance and did not think he was good enough even to look up toward heaven. He was so sorry for what he had done that he pounded his chest and prayed, "God, have pity on me! I am such a sinner."

Then Jesus said, "When the two men went home, it was the tax collector and not the Pharisee who was pleasing to God. If you put yourself above others, you will be put down. But if you humble yourself, you will be honored."

It doesn't matter if it's in front of a temple altar or a laptop – the Message translation says it well: "If you walk around with your nose in the air, you're going to end up flat on your face, but if you're content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself."

Another Reason To Stay Humble

Heard on the radio a few years back - a chunk of Elvis' hair sold at auction for $115,000. Really.

I'm willing to bet that exactly none of my readers would pay $1.15 for a chunk of my hair.

Quote of the Week

The Christians are right: it is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began. Other vices may sometimes bring people together: you may find good fellowship and jokes and friendliness among drunken people or unchaste people. But Pride always means enmity - it is enmity. And not only enmity between man and man, but enmity to God.

In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that - and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison - you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.

That raises a terrible question. How is it that people who are quite obviously eaten up with Pride can say they believe in God and appear  to themselves very religious? I am afraid it means they are worshiping an imaginary God. They theoretically admit themselves to be nothing in the presence of this phantom God, but are really all the time imagining how He approves of them and thinks them far better than ordinary people: that is, they pay a pennyworth of imaginary humility to Him and get out of it a pound ’s worth of Pride towards their fellow-men. I suppose it was of those people Christ was thinking when He said that some would preach about Him and cast out devils in His name, only to be told at the end of the world that He had never known them. And any of us may at any moment be in this death-trap.

...Whenever we find that our religious life is making us feel that we are good - above all, that we are better than someone else - I think we may be sure that we are being acted on, not by God, but by the devil. 

from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

A version of this post appeared in the NewLife Community Church newsletter back in 2009... it's been updated because I like you.

Spam Filter (Classic)

I have three different e-mail addresses...

• my "official" work address - which I use for, well, work. 
• gamingpastor@yahoo.com is my "old" address - but I've used it for so long that I hate to get rid of it. Really - it's been around since the late 90s. 
• fluffdaddy@gmail.com is my "main" address - it's the one I check the most often & use for pretty much all ongoing conversations. 

There's some particular reasons I like the gmail account: it will load on any computer (it's web-based), it threads messages so that e-mail conversations are easy to follow (a must when you're using e-mail for a discussion group), it has an amazing spam filter, and it's free.

It's the spam filter that I want to talk about today - some magic bit of coding in the programs & servers helps them get rid of the e-mails from the Nigerian princes who want my help in transferring funds to the U.S., the Canadians who want to sell me prescription drugs by mail, and the complete strangers who think they can improve my sex life. Until we started paying for a spam filter/blocker for newlifeeaton.com (my former church), we used to get 50-100 spam e-mails each day. (OTOH, I have almost no problems with spam on my gmail account.)

Now, I'm not qualified to tell you how this works - with my computer skills, you could tell me that tiny spam-fighting robots intercept each individual e-mail inside my hard drive & throw it to the ground... a bit like the calf-roping event at a rodeo. Heck, I'd probably believe you. But what I do know is that when it is set correctly, it's a lot easier to get to the business of life & relationships & Jesus, a life where I'm not distracted by all the junk that's virtually aimed at my wallet and/or my heart.

Life is a little bit like that - stuff is coming at us constantly: information, entertainment, spiritual teaching, advertising, images, audio, verbal & non-verbal communication... and the list goes on (and on & on & on.) Each of us desperately needs something to filter out the spam messages:

• I am only as good as what I do. 
• It's somebody else's fault. 
• He who dies with the most toys wins. 
• God's love is there for those who earn it. 
• If you buy X, you'll be healthier, happier & more likely to have girls drape themselves around you in skimpy clothing. 
• If it takes hard work, we must not be right for each other. (Note: this bit of wisdom is actually from the mouth of Donald Trump.) 
• You are not cool enough. 
• Aging is bad. 
• It's easier to avoid problems than to face them. 

...and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

I did a lot of reading on media literacy a few years back. (Media literacy, by the way, is the discipline of teaching people to interact thoughtfully with popular culture, especially. television & the internet.) One of the common techniques is to teach kids (and adults!) to talk back to the TV set - while you're watching a commercial, for example, you can ask out loud, "What are you trying to sell me?" I'd add another good phrase for those of seeking to filter out the spam - when watching a program or perusing a website, ask, "What do you want me to believe?"

When we blurt out "What do you want me to believe?" to a TV show like Two & A Half Men, it's easy to see that one of the underlying spam messages is "my sexual relationships are the axis around which my life rotates." When we question the news anchors on a show like Dateline, we discover that a prime belief is "Fear will protect you from bad things happening to you." And when we do the same with Oprah, we hear loud & clear that "the world revolves you & your happiness."

The best spam filter we have is truth - capital "T" Truth, which first & foremost resides in the Bible. It's harder to buy into the spam (for example, "God's love is there for those who earn it") when you can see the truth (Ephesians 2:8-9: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.")

And the best way to take in capital "T" truth is to soak yourself in it, just like Madge in the old Palmolive ads. So, put down the mouse & go find your Bible & kick your spam filter into gear.

A version of this post was originally written for The Grapevine - the e-newsletter of NewLife Community Church - back in May of 2008.

Don't Give In (Classic)

Anyone else remember the government sanctioned torture known as the Presidential Physical Fitness Award from the President's Council on Physical Fitness? I'm shuddering just typing that sentence - it was a nightmare every year in P.E. as our teacher seemed to delight in watching us painfully attempt to meet the criteria... and fail.

The worst, of course, was the 15 minute walk/run... for a kid whose main physical activities included reading books, playing board games & hiding from neighborhood bullies, this was like being chased around the track with a cattle prod. "Keep movin', Jackson..." Dang, that still echoes in my head.

With the hindsight of age & being a parent, I think I understand the point - the objective was to develop our bodies physically, and especially our ability to endure. Of course, that knowledge doesn't make my memories of those P.E. classes any fonder.

Fast forward to today, where my primary concern is not endurance to circle a dirt track but the perseverance to make it through my life. It's been easy lately to find myself (metaphorically) with my hands on my knees, gasping for breath and just hoping that someone will tell me when I can stop running & lay down in the grass.

More athletic friends have told me about "runner's high", which evidently happens when you reach past the wall of pain that comes when you hit the limits of your endurance & break through to the other side. I have not personally experienced this in the track & field arena... but one of the things that helps me start jogging again in my day-to-day life is the memories of those kind of moments sprinkled liberally by Jesus throughout my walk with Him.

Sometimes, like last night, it takes someone else to remind me of that. In a conversation I didn't particularly enjoy (because, when I'm honest, I'd rather not be challenged about spiritual stuff & instead allowed to sulk & pout like a 5 year old), my wife did just that.

And because God is nothing if not thorough, when I walked into the office at the crack of dawn this morning, the stuff I was studying for Sunday night's message (in James 1) was on perseverance. And when I flipped on the CD I'd stuck in my office boom box last night (Michael W. Smith's THE BIG PICTURE), it was playing songs with lines like:

• Down on your confidence, it's a fight that won't let go. (But) you've got to realize that you're alright. (Cause) under your rubble lies a heart the Father holds... and when you see your life through His eyes, you're alright. ("You're Alright") 
• Well, I tell you there's another way to be free - to be complete. But you've got to make it through another day and deny your own defeat. (Don't give in.) And I'm here to tell you there's another way to consume a hungry heart. Jesus is waiting just a prayer away... let Him in to where you are. ("The Last Letter")

All right, enough all ready. I get the message. Hang on. Keep on keeping on. Run the race with... endurance. (Ouch - that's from the Bible.)

God is not my P.E. teacher... he's not trying to push me into pain to see me fail. He has, according to Jeremiah 29, plans to prosper me... plans to give me a future & a hope.

But how?! When life seems so stinkin' overwhelming, how do I "keep on keeping on"?!

The answer came to me, in a flash. (This, by the way, is why we encourage people to read & study the Bible - it's a lot easier for those "in a flash" moments to happen when you've fed your head the good stuff.)

Do you see what this means-all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running-and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed-that exhilarating finish in and with God-he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Hebrews 12:1-3 (MSG)

So, I have to ask myself this morning:

• Where are my eyes? Am I looking at the track (of life) or my watch (impatiently waiting for all of this to end) or am I focused laser-sharp on Jesus?
• What stories inspire me right now? Am I taking in cynicism by the heaping spoonful or am I digging deep into the good news of Jesus Christ? 
• What am I carrying that I need to drop so I can run free? Is there sin in my life? (And not just the obvious stuff... pride & bitterness weigh just as much lust & greed.) 

I want to run the race, God - not to get a certificate or to pass the class, but in order to please & honor You. In this moment, that seems impossible. But I know that You specialize in things I can't begin to imagine... so I surrender myself to You. Do what it takes.

So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Hebrews 10:35-36 (NLT)

This post originally appeared in October 2007 in the NewLife Community Church newsletter. I'd also like to refer you to a great article on the Presidential Physical Fitness Award from NPR.

Honestly, I'm posting this today because I need to hear the message again... and I'm betting I'm not alone.

The Robinsons Go To Church (Classic)

This Grapevine post from April 2007 has been slightly edited... but the truth at the heart of it is still applicable to church life.

Last Thursday night, Braeden & I got to have a "boy night" - that's when, for one reason or another, it's "just us guys" going out or staying in. When we have "boy night" at home, we usually eat our dinner in front of the TV, have extra candy, play board games, and generally behave like a couple of guys training to be college students.

Now that Collin ends up with us, it doesn't work exactly the same - but there's still lots of wrestling... and most recently, we've added indoor basketball to the menu - boys vs. Dad. (Collin shoots baskets while Braeden tries to pin me to the ground. In real basketball, this would be a foul. In the NBA, this would be standard operating procedure. Sigh.) 

[Note: when this post was written, Braeden was almost 6 and Collin had just turned 2. Ah, how the years fly by.]

Anyway, our "boy night" was a trip to our local movie theater to see Disney's Meet the Robinsons... which, by the way, was a wonderful film. (You can read my review - "Keep Moving Forward".)

And the Robinson family, from the giant octopus butler to the interstellar pizza delivery guy to the mob-connected big band frogs, got me thinking about church life. (I am NOT suggesting that our band sounds like a bunch of frogs - who actually sound a bit more like the Rat Pack in the movie.)

No, it was the whole "peanut butter & jelly gun incident" that got me on this track. Lewis, the main character, starts the movie attempting to invent a gun that solves the main problem with PB&J sandwiches - "portion control!" Unfortunately, the gun jams & he manages to shoot peanut butter onto a man who is allergic to peanuts. (According to the film, this pretty much guarantees that these people won't adopt you... but that's another part of the story.) Later in the story, the Robinson family has trouble with their PB&J gun (don't ask how they got one) and Lewis ends up attempting to fix it.

He fails. Once again, he splatters everyone in sight with sticky goo... and you can almost hear his heart break.

And then the family starts applauding, telling him he's done a great job failing. Which, to our culture-trained ears, sounds like complete hooey. Yet the family goes on to encourage Lewis by explaining that great things happen when you're willing to fail over & over in order to find the right answer.

Which is where the whole "Mark thinks about church life" comes in... if we who follow Christ are going to make a God-sized dent in our communities, then we're going to have to be willing to fail. Snowboarders don't pull a180 the first time down the half-pipe - they end up eating a lot of snow before they even get off the lip. (Those of you who don't know snowboarding just nod your head & pretend you know what I'm talking about, OK?) The same thing is true for us in the church... in order to reach people for Jesus Christ, we're going to try stuff that doesn't work.

That's a GOOD thing. It's OK that we create a program that doesn't attract many people - as long as we don't try & keep it alive just because we started it. It's OK that we attempt a new element in a worship service that, well, bombs - the only way to fine-tune things so that they are relevant & meaningful is to try them.

Our job as followers of Jesus is to applaud courageous & honest failures... to give people "props" for trying to follow God into new ministries & new ways of expressing the love of Jesus Christ to other people.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

One small note of warning: applauding failure is not about applauding laziness or incompetence. It's not about glossing over mistakes or procrastination. It's about spurring one another toward love & good deeds... wait a minute, doesn't the Bible say something about that?!

Quotes of the Week

Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
Walt Disney (quoted at the end of "Meet the Robinsons")

Tell yourself, "I'm not a failure. I failed at doing something." There's a big difference.
Erma Bombeck

Lord, deliver me from the man who never makes a mistake, and also from the man who makes the same mistake twice.
Dr. William Mayo

We ain't where we wanna be We ain't where we're gonna be But thank you, Jesus, We ain't where we used t'be. African-American spiritual

My life is not futile; my failures are not fatal; and my death is not final. That simple bit of beginning theology, stolen from Max Lucado's Six Hours One Friday nearly fifteen years ago, is a lesson I still need to hear, and a truth I still have trouble believing. My actions don't often confess these three truths. But at the rock-bottom core of my being, I desperately cling to them as the core of the Gospel.
Steve F. on his blog, Ragamuffin Ramblings

Round, Round Like A Record Player, Baby (Classic)

Another classic Grapevine post from February 2007... for the record, today is one of those "33 1/3 record in a 78 rpm world" days as well.

Remember record players? Yes, I know that some of you don't... that the only record player you've actually seen used in the one in the hatch on the TV show, Lost. But for some of us, there's a certain warm glow around the memories of picking up an album & sliding out the sleeve, carefully putting the record on the turntable & setting the needle down. Depending on the size of the record, you set the speed - 33 1/3, 45, or 78 rpm's (revolutions per minute).

Of course, by the time I bought my first stereo system (complete with record player, cassette player and... wait for it... 8-track tape player), they weren't making 78's anymore. My dad, who had a pretty decent collection of jazz records, didn't have any 78's in his pile of albums - and my stash of late-disco-era platters (ELO, Barry Manilow, Donna Summer, Yes, the Star Wars soundtrack, etc.) certainly didn't have any. Of course, like any kid, every once in a while I'd crank a 33 1/3 record up to 78 rpms and enjoy the chipmunk-ish sounds.

Well, today is one of those days where I feel like I'm a 33 1/3 record in a 78 rpm world. It's not just that my brain feels like it's mired in super-glue... it's that the very speed of my life, the multitude of responsibilities & obligations whizzing at me, feel like they're going to tear away pieces of me.

As a follower of Jesus, I realize that isn't the whole story - but down here on the turntable we call "life", it can be hard to see when everything is zipping past me. All I want to do is close my eyes & hang on. So, in moments like this, on mornings like this... heck, every morning, I have to turn to capital "T" Truth to gain perspective:

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.     2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (The Message)

And then I open my eyes & see the world afresh. It may not move any slower - I may not move any faster - but it's no longer a complete blur. It's no longer a string of unrelated obstacles & trials... there's something bigger going on.

Surprise! (A Christmas Classic)

This happened almost exactly 6 years ago... but it's still a story that warms my heart. I've made some changes to the original Grapevine post - hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas!

Back in December of 2008, we were given the rare & wonderful gift of a day at the Disneyland Resort by friend who works for WDI (Walt Disney Imagineering)... his generosity enable us to experience both Disneyland & California Adventure for the day. We had a wonderful time riding the rides & watching our boys experience the parks.

But the story starts a bit farther back, as Shari & I decided to surprise the boys with this trip... especially the final destination. We'd been hinting that a special surprise was coming - but not that it was a trip. When we locked down the details with a few weeks to go, we began letting them know that a trip was coming, but not where we were going.

Braeden tried to figure it out, seeing if how far we were traveling (4 hours) or where we staying (Anaheim) would tell him anything... but that's one of the disadvantages of being 7 - he didn't realize that Disneyland was in Anaheim, just 4 hours away.

We did all sorts of things to keep things hidden - I took a different (slightly longer) route into Orange County to avoid all the Disneyland signs along I-5. (Plus, I hate driving through downtown L.A. on the 5... even at mid-day, it's stop-n-go traffic.) We brought the boys in through the side entrance of the hotel so they wouldn't see the big Mickey Mouse statue in the lobby. I even hid the Disney ads in the room so they wouldn't be reminded.

We had all kinds of slip-ups & near misses as well - a good friend wished us a great day at Disneyland with the boys in the room, but they didn't notice. Shari & I had to cover up a question about the Christmas parade at the parks with a long-winded discussion about the Visalia & Caruthers Christmas parades. I was very aware that I was talking about the theme parks a lot - so I tried to find ways to make the conversation seem "natural"... ha.

I'm not sure why, but Collin was pretty sure that he was going to Disneyland. Braeden patiently explained to him Tuesday afternoon why that couldn't be true (he thought we'd driven the wrong direction).

The close calls kept coming - our hotel was about a mile & a half from the parks, but it was right by one of the major intersections for Disney Way. Tuesday night, we could hear the fireworks in our room, but the boys were distracted by the TV and didn't seem to notice.

The next morning, we loaded back into our car and headed out to Dad's "meeting" (with my Imagineering friend)... and as we drove past the entrance sign, Braeden saw it.

"Where do you think we're going, buddy?" I asked.

"Disneyland," he answered.

"So what's the surprise?" she asked.

With a catch in his voice, he questioned, "Disneyland?," and when Shari & I told him he was right, he started laughing & yelling, "Collin, we're going to Disneyland!" The surprise & excitement in his voice was worth all the effort.

If you want more details about the trip, I blogged about most of it...

• DLR in a Day: Morning
• DLR in a Day: Afternoon

On the way home (we drove back after Disneyland closed), I had lots of time to think & pray - Shari & the boys fell asleep and I had 4 hours of driving to do. So my mind wandered from surprise trips to Christmas celebrations at Disneyland to the real reason for the Christmas season.

Some random thoughts:

• it was a surprise to the Jews, even though God had littered clues all the way through the Old Testament writings - starting with Genesis 3 and continuing through the promises to the patriarchs... and just in case they hadn't figured it out by then, He gave the prophets one hint after another
• just like Braeden, even with the evidence staring them in the face, it seemed too good to be true that the Messiah had finally come...
• as I pondered this stuff, I realized that my role in the story is similar to the Enemy's role in our story, as he attempts to  distract us from the story of Jesus Christ at the center of Christmas and instead tries to get us to focus on other things
• finally, as cool as Disneyland is (and I'm a HUGE Disney parks fan), it doesn't compare to how amazing & wonderful it is that God sent Jesus to Earth
• How much surprise is left in your Christmas celebration? No,  I'm not talking about the sticker shock you have when the Visa bill shows up in mid-January... I'm talking about Braeden-like wonder & awe at having been given such an incredible gift.

More Than A Handful of Change in the Bell Ringer's Bucket (Classic)

People just seem to be more generous around the Christmas season... we can speculate why that is so:

• they've been enculturated to give during this time of year
• they're already spending a lot of money on friends & family so giving a little extra to a church or charity doesn't seem like a big deal
• they're already spending a lot of money on friends & family so they feel guilty and give to assuage their guilt
• they're more likely to receive a generous end-of-the-year bonus and therefore feel more comfortable with being generous themselves

I could go on.

But I want to suggest that there may be another reason for our willingness to give. The central stories of the season, both in the Jewish & Christian traditions, are about a generous God.

I'm probably not the best person to explain Hanukkah (heck, I even had to look up how to spell it correctly), but here goes nothing. Hanukkah is the "Festival of Lights", which celebrates God's gracious provision to the Jewish people of a lamp that burned in the newly rededicated temple (following the Maccaben revolt) - it was a symbol, along with the victory over Antiochus, of God caring for His people. (1 Macabees 4) (The dreidel wasn't a part of the early celebrations - no more likely than Mary & Joseph hanging stockings next to the fireplace in their home in Nazareth.)

Christmas marks a time in which God gave his only son in the form of a baby (John 3:16) ... who grew up to die on the cross as a ransom for our sins (Mark 10:45) . Essentially, he gave us Himself.

This generous God went one step further:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

If we are created in the image of God... and we assume that doesn't mean we have His nose & His white hair... then that means we bear His image in a deeper & more meaningful way. We are built to act like He does.

And that means we are... well, we can be, generous. During a season of the year in which generosity is honored not only in religious traditions but also in popular culture...

• the conversion of Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol"
• the compassionate hero, George Bailey, from "It's A Wonderful Life"
• and, of course, the jolly old elf who gives children toys, Santa Claus

...should it be a surprise that the way we were made bubbles to the surface?

This Christmas season, I encourage you to find ways to express the generosity that echoes the heart of the One who created you. Give richly from your time, your talents & your treasure in order to touch hearts & lives.

Please note, however, what John Ortberg said at a conference I attended a few years back: we have a tendency in church circles to talk about generosity in general terms, leading to "superficial agreement and unchallenged apathy." Your mission, if you should choose to accept it, (why, yes, I did watch too many re-runs of Mission: Impossible as a kid), is to get specific:

• how are you going to be generous this Christmas season?
• when are you going to do it?
• how much?

In the words of the old Nike shoe campaign, "Go for it."

Merry Holidays! Happy Christmas! (Classic)

And here's the Christmas classic from 2011... it's the fourth year I've posted it and it's still (sigh) necessary to do it again.

We all get "those emails" - you know, the ones where you are instructed to either pass the message on or forward it to five friends or whatever. (I've sounded off on this before here on the blog - go back & read my post, Forward Christian Soldiers.)  

And I got another one today.

I will be making a conscious effort to wish everyone a Merry Christmas this year ... My way of saying that I am celebrating the birth Of Jesus Christ. So I am asking my email buddies, if you agree with me, to please do the same. And if you'll pass this on to your email buddies, and so on... maybe we can prevent one more American tradition from being lost in the sea of "Political Correctness".

You may sit now, as I did, for a moment of stunned silence at this bit of ridiculousness. OK, silent time is over. Elton Trueblood once said:

“There are those places in ministry and theology that you must draw the line and fight and die; just don’t draw the lines in stupid places!”

Here are three reasons that the above email (and the philosophy behind it) are clearly one of those stupid places:

1. Please, please, please... any time you are tempted to use the phrases "celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ" and "American tradition" in the same sentence, you should use some of that cutesy holiday-themed scotch tape to shut your mouth. The celebration of Christ's birth is NOT an American tradition - it's a Christian tradition... and being an American doesn't make you a Christian, any more than walking into McDonald's makes you a hamburger. (Credit to Keith Green for that analogy.)
2. "Happy Holidays" is not a frontal attack on Christianity... it's an attempt by people (and businesses) to be inoffensive in a season in which there are two major religious holidays (one Christian & one Jewish), one cultural holiday (Kwanzaa), and New Years Day as well.
3. A methodological problem: email forwards and Facebook status updates tend to go to people who already agree with you - meaning you've created feedback loop of people who become belligerent about the way they wish people "Merry Christmas" because they're sure that everyone who doesn't do the same is opposed to all that is good & right in the world.

I'm not telling you to stop saying "Merry Christmas" - in the words of Reggie McNeal, "Don't hear what I'm not saying." Go right ahead & wish people "Merry Christmas"... you are celebrating the birth of Christ in this season. The sincere hope of those who are followers of Jesus is that more people would discover that for themselves.

However, I do want to give you a few tips in how to fulfill the command of Scripture while you're spreading holiday cheer:

1. Stop correcting salespeople who are obligated - in order to keep their job! - to say "Happy Holidays". It's not their fault. And arguing with them or chiding them is not going to bring anyone closer to embracing the true meaning of Christmas.
2. When you say "Merry Christmas", make sure you sound like Bob Crachit rather than Ebenezer Scrooge. Seriously, there are some folks out there who spit the traditional greeting at people like it's a bullet aimed straight at their pitiful heathen hearts. If you can't wish someone "Merry Christmas" with a heart filled with Christlike love, then don't say anything at all.
3. Remember that the (gosh, I hate this cliche) "reason for the season" is Jesus Christ... not the preservation of tradition or winning the "War on Christmas". The Incarnation is about God clearly & completely expressing His love for us - Immanuel means "God with us". When we are just working to accomplish a cultural agenda, we are communicating the exact opposite message... what we're saying is "if you don't accept my particular way of celebration & the theological beliefs that go along with it, I'll simply stuff it down your throat."

And, since I was a pastor, a Scripture to prove my point:

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossian 4:5-6, NIV)

BTW, Merry Christmas!

Wrong Anthem, By Gum (Classic)

A company selling Wrigley's gum wanted music for a commercial in Russia. It went to an English company, and bought a catchy tune. The commercials aired in Moscow, until the Chinese embassy called to ask why the Chinese national anthem was used to sell gum. The company calls it a "misunderstanding."NPR's Morning Edition, January 16, 2007

Whoops.

When I heard this story, I laughed... then I started thinking. (Yes, thinking. I occasionally do that.) How often do we in the Christian church do exactly what Wrigley's did?

You can go two ways with this:

1. Churches have a tendency to go buy the latest program/curriculum/40 Day experience/whatever, expecting since it worked for Churches X, Y, & Z that it will work for them.
2. Churches have a tendency to be completely tone-deaf when it comes to reaching the community around them. We have lived so long in our "Christian bubble" that we don't realize what we sound like to people on the outside.

Either way, it's worth spending some time mulling this one over. First, the church applications:

1. Is my church spending time, energy & cash looking for the "next big thing" that will make us grow & "be cool"... or are we asking God "what's next"?
2. Is my church really listening to our friends in our community who don't go to church & trying to hear what they hear when they listen to Christians?

And then, the personal applications:

1. Am I looking for "the next big thing" to fix my problems, my ills, my hurts? Do I want a "magic bullet" to make all my garbage go "poof"... or do I want Jesus? (These are NOT the same thing.)
2. Am I really listening to the people around me who don't know Jesus... or am I simply reciting the lines I learned in Sunday School? Am I having real conversations about truth & grace & life... or am I simply trying to get them to sign on the dotted line?

Maybe I shouldn't listen to NPR so much - it makes me ask too many questions.

Another classic Grapevine article that was written back in early 2007... slightly edited for my readership.

Eavesdropping on a Bunch of Gamers, Part II (Classic)

Yesterday, I posted Eavesdropping on a Bunch of Gamers, Part I... so today, I'll post Part II. I am nothing if not a man of numerical order.

I'm known in the gaming hobby not just for my love of "fluffy" games but also for my former "day job" as a pastor - and so I get some very insightful questions about Christianity & faith. Yesterday, you got to eavesdrop on a bit of conversation about evangelicals & mainline churches, as well as how I believe we're supposed to relate to non-Christians. Today, I want to share with you an exchange I had with Mister Cranky (real name: Josh Adelson; home state: Pennsylvania) on fear & religion.

Just a short note: it starts with a Mister Microphone joke, which probably means that all of you under the age of 30 will be scratching your heads... and some of the rest of you will wonder what I was talking about - and I'm sorry, but it's in reference to a very geek-y gamer thing and I won't waste three paragraphs trying to make sense of it for you. Just trust me on this one.

For this new version of the post, I have managed to find a copy of the Mister Microphone ad... yes, it was the 70s.

===

In the words of the Mister Microphone ad, "I'll be back for you later."

Mister Cranky: My goodness, that's ominous. No wonder I've always been too afraid to buy a Mister Microphone. Speaking of scary clerics, do you think that fear has any place in the promulgation of one's faith? [Note: "cleric" is another way of saying "minister" - used pretty commonly by gamers because it's a player class in Dungeons & Dragons.]

In just a second, you're going to ask me about fear. Here's what I fear: you, Mister Cranky, with a Mister Microphone in hand.

You said: "Speaking of scary clerics, do you think that fear has any place in the promulgation of one's faith?"

Well, yes... but you know I'm going to qualify that statement, right?! :-)

Gavin de Becker is a security consultant to the stars (who, frankly, spends way too much time on entertainment TV shows to make me entirely comfortable if I was one of his clients) who has also written a very good book entitled The Gift of Fear. (No, I don't get any royalties.) He ascribes our fear "instinct" to evolution (and since it's a micro- rather than a macro- kind of deal, I won't argue with him)... I'd attribute it to God. Either way, fear can serve a very useful purpose - to keep us out of danger.

Coercive fear ("become a follower of ___________ or I'll punch your lights out") is never OK... conversion by the sword was/is a dumb idea for Muslims & Christians.

OTOH, pretending that there isn't an element of fear in the Christian faith would be the rough equivalent of going through the Bible and cutting out passages you don't like. (The word "fear", btw, appears over 300 times in the NIV translation of the Scriptures.) But I think/believe that this is a healthy fear, similar to what de Becker talks about - fear that serves a useful purpose.

Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.     1 Peter 2:16-17 (NIV)

Now, two caveats:

1. Fear is not the only and/or the main motivator to follow God.
2. Trying to increase other's fear levels in order to get them to knuckle under & cry a spiritual "Uncle" misses the whole picture of God as portrayed in Scripture.

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.     Psalm 86:15 (NIV)

So, the traveling evangelist who went church to church in the 1960's & '70's wearing a special shirt that he could light on fire - then scream about "this is what hell is like!" - is, let's just say, freakishly over the top. OTOH, if I don't preach from the Bible about hell, I'm simply editing out verses (a LOT of verses!) that make me uncomfortable.

Mister Cranky: Very nicely answered, if I do rantlessly say so myself.

===

Notice something here - Josh (aka Mister Cranky) wasn't offended by my use of Scripture or my belief in hell when it was set in the context of an actual answer to   his question. Which is a nice reminder that sharing the truth about Jesus doesn't have to devolve into an argument... from either side! (Also note: part of the reason I get the freedom to write like this is that I'm a contributing member of the online boardgaming community - I didn't just show up & start spouting off about Christianity. People know me as an avid gamer with both a sense of humor & solid moral principles... and then as a spokesman for Jesus Christ.)

As well, the whole "fear & faith" topic brings up another question for you to consider: how well do you balance a legitimate fear of a holy God with the truth of His compassion & graciousness? Be honest with yourself - which one of those  sound more like the God you believe in?

Whichever side you're leaning toward, make sure you take some time to ask God to give you a COMPLETE picture of who He is... to expand your relationship with Him.

Quote to Ponder

People outside of the church who aren't in relationships with those inside the church might never hear the gospel or get to see it lived out in someone's life. Instead,  they'll only get an impersonal tract that focuses on hell or see a street evangelist who many times ends up making things worse. Sometimes when I talk to pastors about this, someone will quote Romans 10:14 - "And how will they hear without someone preaching to them?" - and tell me that their job is to preach the gospel in their church. 

But people who need to hear the gospel most likely aren't going to church. On Sundays, they are sleeping in, shopping at the flea market, going out to breakfast - they're anywhere but a church meeting. I don't know why we think that if we have good preaching or add a worship band or have coffee & candles that they will come. Those things are all good, but people outside the church aren't looking for a church with those things. They aren't looking for a church at all. 

It is in the context of relationships with missional Christians that they become inspired to come to worship gatherings. But the sad part is so many outside the church don't have a relationship with someone inside the church. I'm always amazed at how many people outside  the church say they don't know any Christians personally. It's not that they would mind hanging out with one if a true friendship was built, but the Christians they work with or attend school with don't make themselves known to them or befriend them and spend all of their social time with other Christians. And so we widen the chasm.     Dan Kimball, They Like Jesus But Not The Church