Crackpipe Remote: Recap

It's an ongoing discussion here @ aka pastor guy on whether or not I watch too much television. (I, for one, am willing to admit I can set the remote on "overkill" every once in a while.) As always, those of you wanting to give me lecture #188 ("You should go outside more") or lecture #189 ("Don't sit too close to the TV") can jump right with your comments.

But today I want to enlighten you to the joy of recaps... in particular, 2 excellent places to catch snarky recaps of a variety of shows. I have to say that some TV (particularly reality television) benefits dramatically from someone giving it the 3 Stooges poke'n'trip treatment in print.

Here's a couple of examples...

Flash Forward (from Television Without Pity... btw, I really liked the first episode. The 2nd was pretty good as well.):

The guy crawls out of his overturned car, discovering the hard way that hot mufflers do not make the best leverage points for pulling oneself out, and once he's out in the open, he sees what can only be described as complete pandemonium: thousands of cars that have plowed into one another, a truck crushing some poor guy in a convertible, lots of bleeding and stunned people, someone running by whilst on fire. Or, as those of us who used to take the 405 in Los Angeles like to call it, "The morning commute."

The Amazing Race (from Entertainment Weekly)

Zev has Asperger's, which is on the autism scale, and at first I thought this was entirely the root of his flat, whiny, Rain-Man-like delivery. But then as the episode went on, and he grimaced at the thought of walking in Vietnam's flooded streets, and dropped dryly witty remarks that made his pal Justin roar, I realized, wait, he also sounds like many of my neurotic, funny, deadpan acquaintances who work in the media. So what does this mean: that Asperger's is only incidental to Zev's demeanor, or that 70% of all New York media types have Asperger's? That's a question for science, I suppose.

BTW, so far we've lost two obnoxious teams (the "yoga in the hood" couple & the "I'm projecting my problem with anger management onto my girlfriend" couple) and one clueless team (the "older internet dating" couple) from The Amazing Race. That's a pretty good percentage... now, if we can just ditch Lance & Keri...

The Amazing Race (from Television Without Pity)

In maroon are Lance and Keri, who, as Phil tells us, are "engaged, from Salem, Massachusetts." Phil tells us. Over footage of them working out in the gym, Lance boasts, "We bring too much mentally and physically into this game not to win." Oh good, that means I don't have to watch them, right? No? Keri claims that Lance is "smaht," and he confirms that he's a trial lawyer, which I think is the one thing he could have said to make America like him even less. It's just a crying shame that the world of jurisprudence robbed us of someone who could have been the greatest Joey Buttafuoco impersonator of all time.

And, if you're keeping score at home, the grades are:

• Heroes: C- (the 1st episode was OK, but I haven't watched the 2nd one yet & I have it taped)
• Lie To Me: B- (weird MPD lead story balanced by great 2nd story & great cast)
• Survivor: Samoa: B (I'm kinda looking forward to yet another Pagong-ing with the yahoos who make up Foa Foa)
• Flash Forward: B+ (really cool premise; are actually raising the whole predestination/free will question; need to make sure they're advancing the plot each week & not just rumbling along)
• Dollhouse: B (liked the 1st episode; was NOT a fan of the 2nd - felt like there was a major continuity break between the two... still, some great plot threads sitting there waiting to be tied together)
• The Amazing Race: A- (some great challenges + a return to actual puzzles that require racers to think & work + obnoxious teams seem to be dropping off the race = good!)
• The National Parks: America's Best Idea: ? (I have a bunch of it taped... but haven't got to watch any of it yet)