Sunday, April 04, 2010

The Invasion of the Peep Army

A few years back, my friend Jimbo was "inspired" by a message I preached (using Peep Science as a metaphor for eternal security - see for the original inspiration) and went out the week after Easter & bought 300 or so Peeps of various colors & types... and snuck into my office and, well, Peeped it out. Every flat surface in the place had a Peep on it.

This year, he outdid himself with the Invasion of the Peep Army.

The first Peep appeared yesterday next to my bathroom sink. "Mark - We've missed you." His title was "Scout Peep" and he was an indication of things to come.

This morning while I was getting my sermon ready, Sandra delivered the second Peep to my office after I appropriated a doughnut from the adult Sunday School stash. "A good Peep is never afraid to eat with the enemy." This one claimed to be a "Secret Agent Peep."

Then, right before the worship service, I went to get my wireless microphone and found yet another advance Peep - the "Audio Surveillance Peep." The ominous message: "We are listening."

We went to the Archuleta's for Easter lunch (we're the special guest gringos to make the gringo son-in-law, T, feel less lonely!) :-) and when we returned, we spotted the first signs of the Peep invasion on our gate. Yes, that's Peeps rappelling into our backyard.

On closer examination, I found that these were "Special Forces Peeps." I wonder where they go to get their intensive training. (Maybe this explains why they're so difficult to find in the store 10 months out of the year.)

Once in the backyard, there were Peeps with parachutes hanging from a variety of places. Evidently, "Paratrooper Peeps" are not good at reaching the ground.

One Peep-a-Trooper even managed to get hung on the old garage light.

At first glance, I wasn't sure who this troop was advancing through the high grass of our side lawn.

Turns out, it was "Infantry Peeps."

There were also "Calvary Peeps" - with Peep bunnies riding Peep chicks. Their objective seemed to be the patio.

The Peeps came prepared to take losses, complete with Peep coffins & a chaplain. "Some casualties for you to enjoy." (I suspect the "dead Peeps" are actually some sort of Trojan Horse kind of trick.)

Finally, knowing the futility of attacking something many times their size (even with their imposing numbers & near-indestructibility), the Peeps positioned "Sniper Peeps" throughout the yard - on the fence, in one of the trees, on the boys' basketball goal...

...and the final holdout near the eave of the old garage.

Menacing little bugger, isn't he? (I knocked him down with a stick.)

Of course, that was so the Peep Elimination Squad (my two sons) could harvest the Peep Army for some planned experiments involving Peeps & a microwave. (See Peep Science for more ideas on how to experiment/"torture" Peeps for educational purposes.)

Or perhaps as a tasty snack.


Greg J. Schloesser said...

What an AWESOME idea! That was FANTASTIC! Somehow, I believe I'm going to steal this idea and use it on an unsuspecting friend!

Brandy said...

Please post a warning in the future when you write something this hysterical. I'm recovering from abdominal surgery and almost could not keep myself from laughing!

Mark (aka pastor guy) said...

Sorry for the potential injury, Brandy - but I'm glad you enjoyed. In a life full of practical jokes (I was a youth minister for 13+ years) this was the most delightful.

Fresno Jeff said...

Hilarious! I nearly peeped my pants!

Kelly said...

That was fantastic. I went out and bought a bunch of clearanced peeps after reading this, as I believe peeps need to launch an attack on my friends and family also.

Tim - A GameBuff said...

Awesome fun! Peep apocalypse. I'll have to remember to try this next year.