Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Meet the Unappreciated Pastor!

No, this is NOT a comment on my current "between churches" ministry status - this is an introduction for all my faithful blog readers to my favorite Twitter feed. Anonymously, a Southern Baptist pastor (you don't make WMU jokes w/out a little SBC in your blood) has been Tweeting some truly funny (and truly pointed) stuff.

What follows are some personal favorites...

on worship services
  • Excited about my sermon this morning "Christ is alive! So why is our Church So Dead?" Working on my resume too.
  • Why do we have an invitation? Mainly to keep the worship leader from leaving the service when the preaching starts.
  • I don't know what the big deal about changing the music style is. What does it matter which type of music you don't sing?
  • Special thanks to the Seminary student for his topical sermon on why we should preach expositionally.
  • "It's important to be yourself in your preaching. Now, sign up here to learn how to preach like Andy Stanley."
on being a pastor's wife
  • Well, I met this beautiful girl & she said "The Lord told me I was going to marry a pastor" & that's how I found my calling.
  • I have no idea why so few people have signed up [for the Valentine Banquet]. My wife is super excited about spending Valentine's Day at the church.
on church life
  • Some people are so politically minded they're no heavenly good.
  • Nothing says “discernment” like saying “There’s a sign up sheet in the foyer if anyone wants to teach children’s church.”
  • Most people came to Jesus wanting one of three things: Food, a miracle or to argue. I'm so glad things have changed in the church.
on Baptists
  • Pretty sure the groundhog is a Baptist. He makes his once a year appearance and expects everybody to listen to him.
  • The Buffalo Bills are looking for their 5th coach in 11 years. I'm betting a Baptist owns those guys.
on being a pastor
  • I think I'd do well on American Idol. I'm used to criticism and getting voted out.
  • I became a pastor because I desperately need the disapproval of others.
  • How did I become a pastor? I was abandoned at birth, dropped off in the Bible belt and raised by a pack of wild deacons.
  • The Pastorate is the only job I know of in which people that don't like you get mad because you don't visit them.
Want to follow the Unappreciated Pastor? His Twitter handle is @Rev_Norespect... and he also has started an Unappreciated Pastor blog.


Anonymous said...

Those are hilarious! Thanks for sharing them. I haven't seen anything in your blog about being "between churches," so this is news to me, but I'll pray something comes up for you quickly.


Mark (aka pastor guy) said...

Thanks, J.E. - I've been somewhat circumspect about detailing my reasons for voluntarily resigning (suffice it to say that it was not for moral reasons & that it was not the end of the story I had hoped for).

Your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Unknown said...

I feel your pain Mark. I've also been between pastorates for over a year now. Pastoral ministry is not for the faint of heart. Hang in there. I know God doesn't call us just to put us out to pasture.

Ande and Paula Underwood said...

Tough question: Do you let your next church in on your alias?

Mark (aka pastor guy) said...

David: thanks for the empathy/sympathy. You hang in there as well.

Mark (aka pastor guy) said...

Ande & Paula: just to make sure we're clear, I am NOT Unappreciated Pastor. (Gosh, I wish I was that funny on a regular basis.)

As to your question, I don't know. I'd be hesitant, but that might depend on the church I was headed to...

Anonymous said...

It's been a few months. Are you settled somewhere? I'm continuing to wish the best for you.


Mark (aka pastor guy) said...

Not settled... wife is having very tough time w/contemplating me going back to being a lead pastor.

Please keep praying.

Anonymous said...

Pastor's wife: Cold feet
Well, since a week before Christmas, we are now between churches. This one lasted almost a year before the honey moon was over. My husband tried to be the spiritual leader and that didn't go over so well. The Deacons ask him to resign one week before Christmas with no notice and no severance pay. oh, and get this.
My boss is one of the charter members of the church. Needless to say, I get treated like a red headed step child at work....
Please pray for us......

pastor's wife: cold feet said...

Pastor's wife: cold feet
Does anyone know where there is a church where the deacon's care what the Bible says and that actually goes by their by laws?
huh! pretty hard to answer that one.

Mark (aka pastor guy) said...

To the anonymous poster with cold feet:

I'm praying for you - please know that God's justice will happen, though you may never see it in this lifetime. Know that God has wrapped His arms around you, though you may not be able to feel them. Know that you are not alone.

I strongly suggest getting in touch with Ministering to Ministers - http://www.mtmfoundation.org/ - going through a retreat with them last summer was a huge help to Shari & I as we made the decision to step out of full-time vocational ministry.

And, yes, I plan to write more about that decision & transition in the coming months.