Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Meet the Unappreciated Pastor... Again!

No, this is NOT a comment on my former role as a senior pastor & youth minister - this is an re-introduction for all my faithful blog readers to my favorite Twitter feed. Anonymously, a Southern Baptist pastor (you don't make WMU jokes w/out a little SBC in your blood) has been Tweeting some truly funny (and truly pointed) stuff.

I'm re-posting this because Facebook kicked him off for being a "fake account" - and so he's started a new Facebook account that clearly labels himself as a fictional character. (I will note that anyone who has experience in a Southern Baptist church will realize that he doesn't have to use all that much fiction. Sigh.)

What follows are some personal favorites... I've added a few recent ones since the last time I posted this.

on worship services
  • Excited about my sermon this morning "Christ is alive! So why is our Church So Dead?" Working on my resume too.
  • Why do we have an invitation? Mainly to keep the worship leader from leaving the service when the preaching starts.
  • I don't know what the big deal about changing the music style is. What does it matter which type of music you don't sing?
  • Special thanks to the Seminary student for his topical sermon on why we should preach expositionally.
  • Be on the lookout for our Summer Sermon series: "Eight Sermons I Preached At My Previous Church".
  • "It's important to be yourself in your preaching. Now, sign up here to learn how to preach like Andy Stanley."
on being a pastor's wife
  • Well, I met this beautiful girl & she said "The Lord told me I was going to marry a pastor" & that's how I found my calling.
  • I have no idea why so few people have signed up [for the Valentine Banquet]. My wife is super excited about spending Valentine's Day at the church.
on church life
  • Some people are so politically minded they're no heavenly good.
  • Nothing says “discernment” like saying “There’s a sign up sheet in the foyer if anyone wants to teach children’s church.”
  • Most people came to Jesus wanting one of three things: Food, a miracle or to argue. I'm so glad things have changed in the church.
  • We have a few members who don't believe in total depravity. We're making them teach the preschool class at VBS.

on Baptists
  • Pretty sure the groundhog is a Baptist. He makes his once a year appearance and expects everybody to listen to him.
  • The Buffalo Bills are looking for their 5th coach in 11 years. I'm betting a Baptist owns those guys.
on being a pastor
  • I think I'd do well on American Idol. I'm used to criticism and getting voted out.
  • I became a pastor because I desperately need the disapproval of others.
  • How did I become a pastor? I was abandoned at birth, dropped off in the Bible belt and raised by a pack of wild deacons.
  • The Pastorate is the only job I know of in which people that don't like you get mad because you don't visit them.
Want to follow the Unappreciated Pastor? His Twitter handle is @Rev_Norespect... and he also has started an Unappreciated Pastor blog.

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