Everything including the kitchen sink... but with special attention paid to board games, Jesus Christ, my family, being a "professional" (and I use that word loosely) Christian, and the random firing of the 10% of the synapses I'm currently using.
This is the second part of my Essen wish list - which should be obvious from the title. If you'd like to read the first part of my list, it's right here.
I write this list knowing full well that I will not likely own many of these games... and that, in some cases, I won't ever get to play them. It's a WISH LIST, for crying out loud, not a shopping list. (The chances of me playing/owning any of these games is noticeably higher than me actually getting to Essen, so there's that.)
All of the information is pre-Essen and subject to change. The majority comes courtesy of BGG News and the ever-diligent W. Eric Martin.
A cooperative miniatures game that sounds like it was thematically marinated in the graphic novel series "Fables" and the TV show "Once Upon a Time"... and there's already 3 expansion boxes ready to go? (Darn these game companies - they know my Kryptonite: expansions.)
While I'm a little worried that this will replace my beloved Agricola - as in some way it's a redesign - I'm excited to see what kind of tweaks & twists Uwe is going to introduce to this incredibly robust game system... plus, it's got dwarves.
This was my favorite "heavy" game prototype from the Gathering of Friends this year - it's a worker placement game with a really solid thematic connection (mining) and a slightly friendlier way to deal with multiple players wanting to do the same thing. Best of all: it felt like there are multiple paths to victory.
I had the opportunity to play the prototype of this game earlier this year at the Gathering of Friends... and it's been on my "want to buy" list ever since. This is a brilliantly designed family-friendly cooperative game that should have wide release here in the United States... but it doesn't. Those who are headed to Essen should pick up a copy!
I know very little about this game - but at first blush, it looks like someone has finally taken the IDEA behind one of the most unplayable & intriguing games I've ever owned (Avalon Hill's Down With the King) and turned it into a playable game. I'm willing to try it & find out.
I like exploration games. I like resource management games. I like race games. I think this game may be the board game equivalent of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard for me.
I've read through the rules and think there are some really interesting things going on here... and I hope to get to play it in a few weeks.
More city-building! I've read through the rules on this one as well... and it reads very well. You're dealing with 7 different tracks of city health - juggling the need for further expansion with keeping your city functional. I like the art design as well as the game design - and hope to play it very soon.
There are a lot of city-building games coming out this year - but this is probably the coolest looking one. (You are building in 3-D!) If I order something sight unseen from the Essen haul, there's a pretty good chance it'll be this one.
If you haven't figured it out, I love me some city-building games. (OK, my love is not universal - I thought Urban Sprawl completely monkeyed up the balance between length & randomness, and City Tycoon was dry as a bone.)
I write this list knowing full well that I will not likely own many of these games... and that, in some cases, I won't ever get to play them. It's a WISH LIST, for crying out loud, not a shopping list. (The chances of me playing/owning any of these games is noticeably higher than me actually getting to Essen, so there's that.)
Part Two will go live tomorrow morning... with Part Three (yes, my wish list is that long) going live on Monday.
All of the information is pre-Essen and subject to change. The majority comes courtesy of BGG News and the ever-diligent W. Eric Martin.
My pick for "Fluffy Game of the Fair" - and not just because of the name. The theme is ostrich race FIXING - using your magical shamanistic powers and some spiked piles of berries to make sure your chosen birds fly/run to victory. It's got dice, it's got pre-race predictions, it's even got an expansion in the works.
And it's got my name written on it. (Well, not actually. It's a figure of speech.)
Tile-laying, card-drafting, city-building... in less than an hour? What's not to like?
The designer diary on BGG just solidified my gut feeling - this looks to be a game that I will enjoy. I like these kinds of decisions (connections that actually have an effect on what you're building) better than simply dropping down pieces in order to rack up points.
Best guess from people who should know: it's got some similarities to Witches Brew (a game I really enjoy) with the addition of buildings, resources & other powers that affect the game. Winning will be determined by (a) putting together the right collection of buildings, and (b) reading the needs of others well in the picking & playing of cards.
Another city-builder... this time it's a small box card game from Japan where your buildings are activated by die rolls. The art is very Katamari Damacy (and I mean that in the best possible way) - and I'm a sucker for city-building games.
I don't like every game the team of Kramer & Kiesling designs - but their designs are always worth checking out. The theme of this one is a positive (ship-building), as is the use of role selection via set of action wheels.
In the next installment of my wish list, you'll find yet another Kramer & Kiesling game - which I've played in prototype form & really enjoyed.
Relic Runners – for me, mind you – has some common feel with another favorite game of mine: Wolfgang Kramer’s Goldland. Both are “tromp through the wilderness finding stuff” games on the surface that are actually very clever tactical puzzles once you dig into the design. Even more than Goldland, however, Relic Runners requires you to react to the play & plans of other players (especially when playing with 4-5 players).
It's really unfair to put this on the wish list as (a) I was a playtester, and (b) I have a review copy which I've managed to play 3 times in the last week.
Still, it's one of my favorite games from 2012 - now with the added bonus of this wonderful expansion. (Full review coming in the next week or so... until then, know that I consider this an essential expansion for an already great game!)
A deck-building game... about tanks & tank warfare... from Russia. Hmmm. This probably wouldn't have caught my eye a year ago, but they sold me with great art and doing such a bang-up job on Septikon: Uranium Mining (the new version of Septikon will be at the Fair as a demo).
One of the best example of a game design integrating theme & mechanics - drawing tiles from the bag "feels" like archaeology. As well, the use of the "time cost" mechanic makes the game fluid & gives each player a plethora of tactical options.
Tips & Tricks:
The tile bags are a marked improvement over the card decks from the original version of this game, Jenseit von Thebes.
If you're not going to collect the lecture series cards, just make sure no other person hoards them - that's some big points out there on the rubber chicken circuit.
I like to jump out with one or two quick expeditions to harvest a few easy artifacts (and have a variety of colors for the various exhibitions) - but there's something to be said for making sure you have a couple of assistants & shovels before you do any serious digging.
Don't forget about the bonuses for highest level of research into each site!
Extras
Queen has just released Thebes: The Tomb Raiders - a card game version of Thebes. I have not played it yet... but I want to!
Note: Yes, I realize it's been a long time since I posted on this theme - to be exact, it's November 1st, 2012. If you feel a need to catch up on my admittedly-aging Top 100 as of February 2012 list, you can check out:
I wrote this a long time ago (sometime in the mid-90's, back when I was still a youth minister). Now that Braeden is in the youth group at our church (yes, he's that old... and yes, that makes me feel that much older), it occurs to me that these would be worth posting again. This is not rocket science. Here are seven golden rules for being a cool adult that youth like:
Be yourself.
Be an adult. (They have lots of friends who are teenagers. They need an adult friend, not another buddy.)
Be a listener. (Old Jewish proverb: God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth, to be used in that proportion.)
Be vulnerable. (Confess your sins, show them your weaknesses, let them know when you hurt... it makes it much easier for them to do the same with you.)
Be a challenger. (Force them to think... very few other people are & after they get used to it, they like it.)
Be available.
Be able to laugh. (Not as much at them as with them... not as much at your jokes as at yourself. Model humor that builds up people rather than cuts them down!)
Youth know very few real people... and even fewer real Christians. Let Christ permeate every part of your life. (I have a feeling that Jesus was very much like these last seven points with His "youth group", the disciples.)
Looking back on my 15 years as a senior pastor, I realize that all of these "rules" are equally effective in working with adults. And just like teenagers, adults know very few real people... and even fewer real Christians. Sigh.
I just discovered [img] (better known to us non-graphic artist-y types as insert image) last week... and I want to recommend it to my readers who are
well-versed in evangelical subculture
have a sense of humor
Those of you who are not both 1 & 2 are still welcome to read it - it's a really great webcomic - but you're not really the target audience.
The creator (Wes Molebash) has tackled small group dynamics, hipster disciples, shy bladder syndrome, Christian celebrity, coffee enthusiasts, technology, eHarmony... and a host of other topics. It's funny & thought-provoking.
"I didn't even know candy corn and Oreos were dating ... now they have a kid?!" A trio of preliminary notes to this horror show masquerading as a snack treat:
I really hate NPR pledge drives. (Actually, I pretty much hate any pledge drive - so it's not just an NPR thing.)
With all that said, I must recommend to my gentle readers a very funny article from the humorists at Wait, Wait on the release of the limited edition Candy Corn Oreo.
Ian: I hope these Oreos are vegan, so vegans have something to not eat.
the TAGIE awards Matt Leacock is a nice guy and an incredible game designer - and he's been nominated for the Excellence in Game Design at the TAGIE Awards (Toy & Game Inventor Awards).
late to the party Yes, this is so last summer - but Shari just showed it me last night...
For the record, I think even Cookie Monster would reject the limited edition Candy Corn Oreos.
quotes of the week "Until Christians realize they’re neither Republicans or Democrats, they'll never be the prophetic voice politics needs."
(James Emery White)
"Statistically, the unchurched lean heavily Democrat. So-- and I know it's just me talking crazy now-- if you want to reach the unchurched, maybe constant Facebook posts about how stupid Democrats are might be a bad idea."
For a game of space conquest (complete with a tech tree), it zips along at a blistering pace. Turns are short, decisions are tricky, scores are close, and there are multiple ways to victory. Plus, you get to flick stuff!
Tips & Tricks:
As much as I love flicking games (Catacombs, Carabande, etc.), the flicking here is not the whole game - it's just a part of a much larger space-empire building game.
The game scales really well from 2-4 players - which is odd, considering it has a four-quadrant map.
There are even some official variants for the game posted on the Geek... both of which are quite good.
Extras
My Opinionated Gamers review of Ascending Empires... with lots more information and my thoughts on all the whining about the puzzle-cut boards.
==========
Note: Yes, I realize it's been a long time since I posted on this theme - to be exact, it's November 1st, 2012. If you feel a need to catch up on my admittedly-aging Top 100 as of February 2012 list, you can check out:
A version of this post originally appeared on this blog back in 2005... and yes, I really did write a lot about the Pope that first year. Still don't know why...
Yeah, it's a little odd for a Baptist pastor to write so much about the Pope (check out my earlier posts):
Perhaps it was that I dated a young lady who was pre-Vatican 2 Catholic (15+ years after Vatican 2!) Maybe it's the class I took in seminary on Roman Catholic Theology (because I liked the professor, a Dutch guy named Dr. Kiweit.) Maybe I'm just jealous of the cool hats Catholic clergy get to wear. Who knows?
Anyway, I just read a new article this morning about World Youth Day in Germany... Pope Benedict had some very interesting comments for the nearly 1 million folks who camped to celebrate Mass with him:
He asked them not to see religion as a "consumer product" where people choose only what they want from it and disregard rules that are sometimes difficult to observe.
"Religion constructed on a 'do-it-yourself' basis cannot ultimately help us," he said. "It may be comfortable but at times of crisis we are left to ourselves."
In other words, a faith based primarily on my personal choices is only as good as the quality of my personal choices. When you take into consideration my own track record:
Angel Flight slacks & silky flower shirts
the musical stylings of Barry Manilow
western shirts with pearl buttons on the pockets
50% of the wargames I bought that I never played against another person
the aforementioned Catholic young lady & our dating relationship
for that matter, the vast majority of my crushes, infatuations & dating relationships
letting my hair grow out where it looked vaguely like Woody Allen
my struggle with an addiction to pornography
and so on...
...it becomes crystal clear that any faith based on me is doomed to failure. One good strong "wind" in the weather system of life & I'd collapse like a house of cards. I need something (well, Someone) bigger than me.
About two years ago I wrote a post about pastors & honorariums that generated a lot of positive buzz. (Well, let's be honest - any buzz that doesn't involve me having to spam filter out online gambling websites is positive buzz for this blog.) I had fun "pulling back the curtain" and hopefully giving people some guidance in an area that doesn't get a lot of discussion.
Almost immediately, I had an idea for another behind-the-pulpit post about Pastor Appreciation Month... and then my old friend "Fear of the Opinion of Others" and his cousin "You're Gonna Get In Trouble" paid me a visit and the idea went into my mental "that'd be great but it'll never happen" file for about a year & a half. And now I find myself without a paid church staff position and thus able to weigh on Pastor Appreciation Month.
Frankly, I was (and, if I'm honest, still am) a bit worried that folks in my former church will read this and take it the wrong way. So, if you're part of NewLife Community Church in Easton, CA, please know that I'm not harboring great honkin' wads of bitterness of what was or wasn't done for me each October. I'm writing this in order to serve other pastors & their churches, not try to send y'all on an all-expenses-paid guilt trip.
Seriously, there's a Pastor Appreciation Month?
Yes, there is. Just like there's a Administrative Professionals Day (which we less enlightened used to call Secretary's Day), a Boss's Day (nothing like an extra chance to schmooze the guy who writes your annual evaluation), and something from the Great Lakes region called Sweetest Day, which evidently involves the purchase & consumption of large amounts of candy. (Note: Sweetest Day is the third Sunday in October and I, though not currently living in that part of the U.S., will be happy to celebrate it with you.)
After a little Internet research, I realized that the official name is Clergy Appreciation Month (which we less enlightened used to call Pastor Appreciation Month). I'm guessing the reason that didn't stick in my head is that I never thought of myself as "clergy" - even though technically I was. In my mind, "clergy" are those guys who wear clerical collars and carry around portable communion sets. The thought of wearing a clerical collar still chokes off my air supply.
Clergy Appreciation Month was created by Focus on the Family in 1994 with the stated purpose of reminding congregations to recognize & honor their pastoral staff. While churches have long taken various opportunities to show their love & generosity to their pastors, the folks doing clergy care at Focus felt like something specific & regular needed to take place.
Isn't this just another Hallmark Holiday - a cynical creation of an "event" in order to sell more merchandise?
Well, "no"... and maybe a little bit "yes". Having experienced the generous heart of H.B. London & the other folks in Pastoral Care at Focus firsthand, I can pretty safely say that they didn't create this as a marketing tool.
At the same time, Christian bookstores & publishers have jumped on the bandwagon to produce "resources" for appreciating clergy - some of which is quite lovely and some of which is, well, not.
So, what's the best way to appreciate my pastor(s)?
I have some specific suggestions which we'll get to in a minute, but I'll start by noting that there's a nicely put together online manual for Clergy Appreciation Month available at the Thriving Pastor website. While there are some suggestions in there that are a little cheesy (please, oh, please, do not use the "flash mob during the worship service" suggestion - if that had happened to me, I'd probably have needed medical assistance right there on the platform), there are a number of great ideas as well.
Whether you do it analog (a Card Shower) or digital (a Super Text Event), I'd have been blessed & overwhelmed by hearing how my service made a difference in the lives of individuals. Important safety tip: make sure the cards/texts/communications are specific - pastors hear a lot of general praise that can become just a low background hum.
Giving your pastor an extra day off (by inviting & paying for a guest speaker) could be really cool - at my last church, I preached around 48 weeks each year. Warning: if your pastor has been receiving lots of criticism about his preaching skills/style, this may not feel like a gift to him - instead, it may be one more way for someone to comment on how he doesn't measure up.
Renovating the pastor's home and/or improving his working environment are both awesome ideas - pastors may not have the skills or the time to put into these kind of projects and your willingness as a church to make that possible says a lot to them. Note: home renovation projects are much more meaningful for pastors who own their own home or rent than for those living in a parsonage (sometimes called a manse, which always makes me think of Hound of the Baskervilles & fog-filled moors).
Not to be outdone, my denomination (Southern Baptists) published an article on the subject which needs some corrective notes:
Where in the world is a pastor supposed to go wearing a "World's Greatest Pastor" T-shirt? You might as well hang a neon sing around his neck that says "non-believers, run for your lives!" and/or "Nutty religious people who want to argue esoteric points of doctrine, here's your guy!"
You said you were going to get specific... so, be specific already!
OK... I think there's one simple rule that ought to cover it:
Do something that will be meaningful to your pastor, not what would be meaningful to you.
That's it.
I say this because your tendency is going to be to purchase an item or choose a way to recognize him that appeals to your heart. Gary Smalley managed to create a cottage industry in books & resources based on this idea... we tend to express love to others in the way we would like love to be expressed to us.
Where we run into trouble - in marriage, in parenting, in pastor appreciation - is that "what makes one person feel loved/[appreciated] does not necessarily make another person feel loved/[appreciated]." (That's Gary S. talking...) Take, for example, me getting my wife a card game for her birthday. While I see that kind of gift as the height of thoughtfulness, she sees it as "Mark got himself a gift from my birthday". (And she'd be right - I made this mistake early on in our marriage. Once.)
So, if your pastor loves to fish, get him a Bass Pro Shops gift card... even if you think it's a waste of time. If he's a football fan, hunt down some high-quality tickets to go watch his favorite team.
Ask yourself: "What does our pastor do to relax & recharge?" Then find ways to make that easier/cheaper/more available for him.
What are some dumb ways to appreciate my pastor?
Thanks to the Unappreciated Pastor, I can give you a quick outline of a couple of things you shouldn't give your pastor:
He doesn't need a Bible. He has one (or 2 or 50) already.
He doesn't need Jesus Junk. (When I worked in a Christian bookstore, that's we called all the little trinkets, doodads, desk thingees, etc. that companies love to market.) He's already got a shelf full.
You should follow the link & read the whole article - it's really good and he's much, much funnier than I'll ever be. (Of course, he posting anonymously, so he can "let it all hang out" and go for the punch line.)
And just because I love his humor, some Pastor Appreciation-related Tweets from the Unappreciated Pastor:
The church asked for a theme verse for Pastor Appreciation. I suggested "Silver & gold have I none".
The hardest part of Pastor Appreciation month is finding Thank You cards in packs of two.
I find it offensive that Pastor Appreciation month is the same month as the devil's birthday. #October31
Any final advice you want to add after 25+ years of ministry?
1. If your church isn't doing something big, find a way to do something on your own.
While an all-expense paid weekend getaway or substantial gift card to their favorite store is wonderful, something small is great, too. Ministry can be a progression of difficult situations & people (often, the two are intertwined)... and your small gesture (a plate of brownies, a Starbucks card, a personal letter of thanks & appreciation, etc.) can help stem the tide of disappointment & despair.
2. I said it earlier, but it bears repeating: when you write a card/letter/note to your pastor, make sure that you are specific in your encouragement & praise.
Throughout my ministry, I had people who would compliment me each week on my sermon: "That sure was a great message, Pastor." And I was thankful for those folks, if only to counteract the images of people checking their watches and/or fidgeting as if we'd handed them itching powder along with the bulletin.
But that general encouragement, over time, became less & less meaningful. I know full well that I was "on" some weeks and less "on" (or plain ol' "off") on others - but the praise kept coming... and the regularity diminished the impact severely.
What I appreciated greatly were compliments with specificity - "I like the way you handled this particular passage" or "When you talked about [fill in the blank], it was like you were talking right to me." (They don't have to be just about the message - they can be about personal counsel, ministry, prayer, leadership, friendship... whatever!)
3. Don't drop the ball just because your church is struggling with numbers and/or conflict.
In fact, your pastor needs your encouragement & support even more during times of discord. You may be one of the few voices of grace & peace he gets to hear.
4. Do something!
As Pastor Appreciation Month has become better known, it could also be recognized as Pastor Depression Month, as pastors read & hear stories about the wonderful ways other churches have celebrated their clergy - and no one in their congregation has made an effort. Don't let your pastor be one of those folks!
5. Do something for all of your staff - not just the senior/lead pastor.
Create unity through your appreciation - not disharmony between coworkers.
6. Don't limit appreciating & encouraging your pastor to one Sunday or one month out of the year.
Discouragement doesn't confine itself to a 31-day time span... neither should encouragement.
7. Pray about what to do.
I'm not sure why I put it last - but it certainly isn't the least important. Ask God for direction & wisdom in how to show your pastor you support & care for him.
Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you. (Hebrews 13:17, NIV)
Yes, yes... there will be lots of cool new games at Essen this year - the "official" Geeklist on BGG runs 19 pages as of yesterday. (For the math-challenged among us, that's over 450 board & card games being released.) But the most important board game news is not a new game - it's a reprint. Haba is reprinting Kayanak! To understand why I think that's so cool, you need to know that:
a) it's been out-of-print for quite a while b) it was the #1 game on my Kid Games 100 back in 2009 Here's what I wrote about it back then - and while there's been some good kid games since (Monster-Falle, for example), it's still #1 in my book.
Yes, my friends, we’ve finally
reached Number One on the Kid Games 100. The Numero Uno, the Big Kahuna,
the game that I believe is possibly the best kid game ever.
Or at least that’s what I think today – and for the past year or so. (I
actually made the Kid Games 100 list in May of 2008.) It’s possible
something better will come along – but for now, this is my favorite.
Sadly, it’s out of print… which I know (from your emails) makes some of
you a bit testy. Sorry about that – but I think two of the best race
games on the planet are Entenrallye & Um Reifenbreite… and both of them are OOP as well.
But why do I like Kayanak so much? In the words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “let me count the ways”:
the
theme (ice-fishing) and the mechanics (using a wooden stick to poke
holes in the [paper] ice and fishing out small metal balls with a
magnet) work together perfectly
the
components are, as is typical for Haba games, top-notch. In this case,
they not only look good but are extremely functional.
The game plays well with 2, 3 or 4 players… and with children as young as four & adults as old as dirt.
It's
freakishly fun - I mean, seriously - you get to poke holes in paper
(what kid hasn't spent most of slow school morning doing that?!), play
with magnets, and pretend to be an Inuit out on a frozen lake. (OK, I
have no desire to ACTUALLY be on a frozen lake, but the pretending part
is fun.)
The
gameplay is dice-activated: what you roll tell you what you can do (cut
holes, fish, move or a combination of things) as well as how many times
you can do them. The dice also give you opportunities to ice over other
players fishing holes and "melt" portions of the board (making them
impassable).
There's a
lot of ways to play tactically - and yet, part of the charm of the game
is that the fish (little metal balls in two sizes: regular & "fish
story") sometimes clump together so that make an amazing haul... and
sometimes you fish in an area that is, sadly, fishless. (Is "fishless" a
word? I'm not sure that I care.)
I never refuse to play this with my boys... or at game conventions... or wherever. And that's why Kayanak is #1.
add it to appshopper First, if you have an iPhone and/or iPhone and don't have AppShopper installed - why not?
Second, I was going to recommend that you seek out the free version of Reiner Knizia's (yes, board gamer friends, THAT Reiner Knizia) Yoku-Gami - but it's been removed from the App Store. (I actually like it better than the paid version - esp. at the new price of $4.99!)
Since it's that expensive, I'd suggest putting it on AppShopper and waiting for the price to go down.
grace church The church we are a part of is expanding to a second campus this week... so, if you're on the north side of the metro Nashville area, you're invited to join us at Grace Church this weekend either in Hendersonville or in Gallatin. (Follow the link for worship times & places.)
i will follow The lead pastor at Grace Church is Ed Stetzer - a guy I have deeply admired long before we started attending the church. You can learn a lot by checking out edstetzer.com - and you can follow him on Twitter as well.
jackson book of world records Set a new personal best on the solitaire version of Roll Through the Ages (playing on my iPhone) this week... playing Late Bronze Age, I managed a score of 90 points! A great dice game, btw - both the boxed & iOS versions. One line description: "Civ meets Yahtzee."
quote of the week "Forgiveness is a necessary, but not a sufficient condition for reconciliation."
This classic aka pastor guy post is just over eight years old... I didn't edit it much - it's good just the way it is.
Fasten your seatbelts... I'm going to ramble through a lot of territory today. For those of you who've been wondering when I'd post about games again, this may help. Or it may not, because I've got a lot more than games on my mind.
I got sick Friday night with the same evil stomach flu thingee that sidelined Shari earlier in the week. I spent Saturday in front of the TV set, watching college football (the UT-Ohio State would have been much more fun if I was feeling better) and the last few episodes of the first season of LOST.
I also spent some serious time worrying about whether I'd survive Sunday. You see, Sunday was one of those "heavy load - use your back, not your legs" days in ministry. I started a new teaching series (entitled EPIC) which uses a lot of video clips. Right after services, I led a training meeting for the capital campaign leadership... then I got a 2 hour break. Actually, not a break as much as "some time where I wasn't at the church". (Shari & I had to plan for the experience we were leading that evening.) Then back to the church to lead Church Council, followed by "Church: a hands-on experience", which is the aforementioned thingee Shari & I are doing to help get our folks ready for ministry in a postmodern culture.
By the time I went to bed, I had a 102 fever. It broke some time during the night... but was back up to 101 by the morning. Needless to say, I didn't go into the office on Monday. Instead, I did a bit of work from home via computer and got to watch Shari & Braeden as they homeschooled. (Which was cool... Shari's an incredibly gifted teacher and Braeden's like a knowledge sponge.)
This week, Braeden is learning about himself - Monday was about the body. So Shari picked up a copy of Twister, which wasn't previously a part of the family game collection. And I, as The Sick Guy, was designated referee, which means I got to spin the spinner.
For the first time in my life, I read the rules to Twister. (Really - there are rules.) And there's a bit more of a game there than what you grew up playing. (Like Monopoly... sigh.) I didn't realize you could move a hand or leg and return it to the position as long as you let the referee know beforehand. And it became obvious quickly that there are some board position issues (it pays to stake out a lot of real estate so you don't get cut off) if you're trying to win.
For the record, Braeden wasn't all that fascinated with Twister, but he's actually a bit young (4 when the box says 6+) to enjoy it. I think he might like it better solo or with his friends. Playing against Mom is a bit of a mismatch.
My reaction to Twister? I found myself surprised that I didn't hate it. Now, that may seem a strongly worded shot at an American classic, but that's what came boiling up when I took the lid off my feelings. With nothing better to do than lay on the couch & stare at the ceiling fans (Monday Night Football wasn't on yet), I decided to unpack those feelings a bit.
Here's what I think. Twister, along with it's "cousins", Funny Bones (sadly out of print) and Octopus (so obscure I needed to add it to the Geek database), are very "body-conscious" games. I discovered Funny Bones at my ACTUAL cousins' home in Missouri (and played primarily with them) as an elementary school kid. Shari & I didn't buy Octopus until after we were married. Twister, OTOH, entered my life during junior high.
Think about it... at a time in a young man's life in which he has the worst possible body image (because his puberty-driven growth betrays him with broken voice & clutzy ineptitude) as well as the most heart-destroying social scene, get him to play a game like Twister in front of people he hopes will think he's cool. Recipe for freakin' disaster.
And, since those lovely images from the Turner Classic Movie Channel of my mind came rolling back, right next to them are the two times I played Spin the Bottle. (Yes, there is a Spin the Bottle entry on the Geek... but we all know that's not what I'm talking about.) The red-faced embarassment, the meaningless kisses, the agony of watching the girl I liked kissing another guy, the sound of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack playing in the background...
And there I realized that I wanted to make sure that Braeden & Collin, when they're old enough, understand how precious it is to kiss a girl. What a privilege it is to have that kind of physical contact with God's creation... and how sad it is to waste it on a circle of junior highers. I can't stop my boys from doing painful things - but that doesn't mean I shouldn't let 'em know how empty it can be... or how a simple kiss can be filled with meaning.
Whew... pretty deep for a Thursday morning. And all started over a game of Twister. Imagine how nutty I'd have gotten if the memory train ran past Gnip Gnop or Which Witch? :-)
As you've hopefully noticed, I've been trying to move this blog to publishing 5 days a week (Monday - Friday)... and in the process of doing that, I've been going back through a pile of unfinished post ideas & drafts. This particular free association trip through my life/brain was started back in April of 2011... finally seeing the virtual light of day nearly two & a half years and a couple of major revisions later.
I've come to dread "The Restaurant Conversation" with my lovely wife... you know what I'm talking about it, right?
Me: Where do we want to go eat?
Her: I don't know. Where do you want to go eat?
Me: I'm not sure. What kind of food sounds good?
Her: Well, Mexican is always good... but you don't like Mexican. So pick what you want.
Me: Well, I was kind of wanting Chinese, but you don't like that, so... Her: Just tell me where we're going.
(This is NOT a verbatim conversation, but you get my drift. And for the record, the picture of her with this post was taken a restaurant we both love, the Creekside Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo, CA.)
It could easily have come straight out of the dialogue of the first full-length movie I saw as a kid: Disney's "The Jungle Book"...
Buzzie: Hey, Flaps, what are we gonna do?
Flaps: I dunno. What'cha wanna do?
Ziggy: I've got it! Let's flap over to the east side of the jungle. They've always got a bit of action, a bit of a swingin' scene, all right.
Buzzie: Aw, come off it. Things are right dead all over.
Ziggy: You mean you wish they were. [all laugh]
Dizzy: [seriously] Very funny.
Buzzie: Okay. So what are we gonna do?
Flaps: I dunno. What'cha wanna do?
Buzzie: Look, Flaps, first I say, "What are we gonna do?" Then you say, "I don't know. What'cha wanna do?" [rapidfire] Then I say, "What're we gonna do?" Then you say, "What'cha wanna do?" LET'S DO SOMETHING!
Flaps: Okay. What'cha wanna do? [Buzzie sighs]
Buzzie: There you go again. The same notes again!
Ziggy: I've got it! This time, I really got it!
Buzzie: Okay, you got it. So what are we gonna do?
Dizzy: [spots Mowgli] Hold it, lads. Look! Look what's coming our way.
Flaps: Hey, what in the world is that?
Buzzie: So what are we gonna do?
Flaps: I dunno- Hey, now don't start that again!
Too often, that's the same kind of conversation we have about vision & direction for churches. For a variety of reasons, we want to smooth over the rough places that inevitably happen in the process of grabbing onto God's unique vision for us - and we end up hitting "the same notes again!"... or settling for the compromise restaurant.
At a Ministering to Ministers retreat this summer, I was exposed to the "the Abilene paradox", which originated with a guy named Jerry B. Harvey. The parable he tells is as follows:
On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene [53 miles north] for dinner. The wife says, "Sounds like a great idea." The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, "Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go." The mother-in-law then says, "Of course I want to go. I haven't been to Abilene in a long time."
The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad as the drive. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted.
One of them dishonestly says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it?" The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, "I wasn't delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you." The wife says, "I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that." The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.
The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.
Wikipedia aptly sums up the lesson by saying:
In an Abilene paradox a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is counter to the preferences of many of the individuals in the group. It involves a common breakdown of group communication in which each member mistakenly believes that their own preferences are counter to the group's and, therefore, does not raise objections. A common phrase relating to the Abilene paradox is a desire to not "rock the boat".
So...
What would it look like if those in church leadership would take heart from the One who has overcome the world and be brave enough to talk about what God is doing in our hearts & lives? What if pastors & laypeople were united in the hope to see their church make a God-sized dent in their community that can only be explained by Jesus Christ. What if the expectation was for tough conversations would lead us to draw together in prayer rather than to our corners to nurse our wounds & grudges?
No more trips to Abilene. No more roundabout vulture discussions. No more restaurant conversations.
I've been on record before about how much I enjoy Glennz Tees - the shirts are good quality, the printing has held up well to 3-4 years of washing... and they make me laugh. A lot.
So, here's the three designs that I've got on my Christmas list:
Swiss Ninja - because a true ninja is prepared for every eventuality... even a hangnail
Notifications - one of the better iPhone jokes I've seen (it's on sale right now, btw)
Water Bomb Squad - it's like "The Hurt Locker" for former youth pastors
follower of Jesus, husband, father, "pastor", boardgamer, writer, Legomaniac, Disneyphile, voted most likely to have the same Christmas wish list at age 58 as he did at age 8
